Part 2 of "In The Woods When First We Met"

224. The Darkness Before the Dawn

This chapter is rough, Anne attempts to harm herself (but I decided to have them stop her before she starts). This is the only chapter she will do this, so it won't come up again.

I debated whether I should include this at all....I feel in one way like it's so...taboo. And I don't to trigger anyone. But I am writing my story in this story and I have done some bad things in trying to cope with it alone.

I got the ways to help me from going to therapy. I know Gilbert isn't a therapist, but I want Anne to learn to control those difficult thoughts and since Anne isn't going to a therapist I thought maybe Gilbert could be the one to think of some things that would help her.

I am not actually going to have Anne really do it, so that it is a bit less triggering- they'll come in and stop her before she can. But please, please just skip this one if there is any chance it could be triggering to you.

By the way there are less than 5 chapters left. I don't want to say exactly how many because there are some I'm considering splitting up. But it is 5 or less now.

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Marilla had gone over and over the books she had- and the ones she had borrowed from Dr. Carter- but most of them had only a brief snippet- at most, a paragraph or two- about how to treat melancholy. Right now, she was looking at Madame Young's Guide to Health: her experience and practice for nearly forty years. Marilla sighed and closed the book, thinking that Amelia Young didn't know much about it at all. Melancholy had exactly one word in the entire text.

She wondered if there were any books written solely about conditions of the mind: melancholy, nervousness, and the like. Then she'd have more to read than just a paragraph here and there.

Then a new thought occurred to her: perhaps there were even books about how to cope with an assault like this. She began to feel hopeful at the thought that there was some book, somewhere, that could guide her through mothering a girl who'd been violated. Because Marilla desperately needed some sort of guidance.

Avonlea had no library, but Charlottetown did. Maybe the Charlottetown library would have such a book...then she remembered that the library was also willing to order in books for people- they had a big catalog they used to purchase their collection, but they also let patrons go through it and the library would send away for them. So even if the library did not carry anything she could borrow, their catalog might have something she could purchase. She decided to ask Matthew if he minded the drive, but she knew he wouldn't. Anything to help his dear girl.

Matthew was, of course, willing, and they asked Rachel Lynde to come stay with Anne while they were out. Matthew had asked Anne if she would like to drive in to Charlottetown with them- a chance to get out into the world but away from Avonlea- but Anne refused to leave her room.

Marilla did not let this get her down. She felt sure she would soon find a book that would fix everything.

So Rachel Lynde came over, but Anne would not get out of bed. "Don't you worry about a thing, Marilla," Rachel said with the confidence of one who has raised ten children and dealt with them through all their ups and downs.

After a brief discussion, Matthew and Marilla stopped at the bank before making the drive to Charlottetown. They did not need to use Anne's money to buy a book, but Marilla said "If there are ten books, I'll buy them all", and withdrew some extra money just in case. And Matthew agreed; neither of them were willing to choose a book, go home, hope it worked, and then come back to try another.