Part 2 of "In The Woods When First We Met"

234. From Here on Out

While Anne was thinking about going to school, Marilla was thinking about her talk with Anne and Gilbert.

At first she thought she would just talk with Anne, mother to daughter. But then she decided that the conversation needed to be between Anne and Gilbert, too- that she didn't want Anne to sort things out with Gilbert on her own, instead, she needed to sit them both down together for a serious discussion about their intentions and what kind of boundaries they needed to set from here on out. For instance, Marilla thought there was entirely too much physical contact between them right now. It was not normal for a girl her age to have a boy in her bedroom, or for them to go off on their own holding hands. She understood that it had arisen from Anne's unique situation, but at this point, things were starting to get back to normal, and so her and Gilbert's relationship needed to get back to normal, too.

When Gilbert came over, expecting to walk away with Anne as they had been doing, Marilla said, "Hold off on your walk, I'd like to talk to you two for a moment."

Anne and Gilbert looked at each other. They did not know what Marilla wanted to talk about, but how serious she sounded caused them both to feel a pit in their stomachs.

"Sit down," Marilla said, trying to sound softer since she realized she had frightened them with her tone.

She wanted to handle this just right. It would not do for them to feel attacked. They had to know that her intentions were to help them, not to criticize them. She could not be the adversary.

"I think it's nice you've become such close...friends," she began.

Anne reached for Gilbert's hand under the table. He squeezed it.

"But there's been talk of marrying."

Neither one said a word.

Marilla sat quiet so long that the ticking of the clock became loud. She was trying to think of how to proceed, but Anne felt she must fill up the silence, and began talking in a rush, "I know I said that, but Marilla, I was just upset at the time-"

"I don't want you to tell me falsehoods," Marilla cautioned. "If that has been a subject of conversation between the two of you, and I think it has, then I don't want you to lie to me and tell me it hasn't."

Neither said anything.

"You both know you're too young for marriage."

They looked at each other.

"But you won't always be."

Marilla went on, warning: "I don't want you to rush into things, and I don't want you to feel committed to each other when it's entirely possible you'll grow apart and find other people in the years between now and when you're old enough for marriage."

Anne and Gilbert were both thinking that that simply wasn't possible.

Marilla turned to Gilbert, "If we were in an ordinary situation, Anne seeing a boy at her age would be out of the question. But Anne grew dependent on you, and we in turn did as well. Sometimes circumstances force a change in customs." She took a deep breath. "Bonds have been formed, and I don't think we would have much success in keeping you apart, or that it would even be realistic to try."

Anne and Gilbert did not know how to respond to this.

"I think the matter we must discuss is how to handle things moving forward. I don't have any doubts about both of you maintaining your purity- after what Anne has been through I don't imagine she has any prurient interest, and Gilbert, you, being so sensitive to her plight, are surely not going to pressure her."

"No, ma'am," Gilbert said softly.

"Even so...we must set boundaries now. I want you to understand this is not me trying to keep you apart, rather it is me trying to make sure that your ties to each other are kept wholesome as they should be before marriage."

They nodded.

"First of all, it is no longer appropriate for you to be in Anne's bedroom as you have been. ...We were in a desperate situation, but as things are improving, surely we must realize that that should stop."

"All right," Anne said softly. Gilbert nodded.

"And second, I don't believe it is wise for Anne to invite you in if she's alone in the house. That's not to say I think anything will happen. But it doesn't look well for a girl to have boys in when her parents are not home. If...if you come over and Anne is alone, you ought to come back another time."

Looking at Anne's fearful face, and realizing that even though she was getting better, she might still get scared when she's alone, Marilla relented a little bit: "If you come when Anne's alone, and she believes she needs you there, I suppose it might be all right for you to stay- but only if the two of you stay outside- you can sit on the porch, where anyone could come along and see you. Or you could take Anne to your house, since your father and your housekeeper would be there. The idea is that you are not in an empty house together. Do you understand?"

They nodded solemnly.

"Good, that's out of the way, then. My other concern...I think both of you need to consider how much physical contact you have given each other. This is not me lecturing you or trying to make you feel ashamed of it. My point is that the more contact there is now, the more difficult it will be to wait for marriage. ...I know that neither of you want to do anything wrong. The trouble is, it won't feel wrong."

"So...we can't...do anything?" Anne asked, and then, realizing that saying 'anything' did not sound good, she clarified, "We can't hold hands?"

"I think you are both being brought up properly...you will have to rely on your moral conscience."

Anne and Gilbert looked at each other. They did not expect the conversation to go this way. They thought they'd be ordered to keep away from each other.

"So what do you think?" Marilla asked them.

They were both thinking that "the right answer"- the answer Marilla wanted to hear- was to say they'd never touch each other again.

But Marilla said, "It is my opinion that it would be unwise for you to hug each other when you're alone. But as I won't always be with you, you must make wise decisions for yourself and refrain from things you know could lead you down a path to immorality."

Anne and Gilbert looked at each other.

Marilla was giving them an opinion. As if she really thought they could make good decisions for themselves. So Anne, wanting to prove herself, said, "We probably shouldn't hug when we're alone, then...do you think it would be all right to hug maybe just when we say goodbye?"

"Is that a standard you feel you can hold yourselves to?" Marilla asked them both.

They both nodded.

Marilla said, "All right. If that's what you're agreeing to- that you're only going to hug when you say goodbye, then I expect you to keep your word."

She gave them a smile. "You may go. I know you're anxious to get out and walk."

Anne said, "Wait- we can still go? I thought you'd say we can't go off by ourselves anymore."

Marilla paused. "Well, I don't want you alone in an empty house. But if you're in public...or outside...yes, you can still take walks."

They were both glad they could still be alone a little bit, even if they couldn't all the time like they were used to.

"And save your hug for when you say goodbye, because that's what you decided."

They wanted to hug each other right now, but they held off, waiting for when they said goodbye, and grateful they still could at all.