Part 2 of "In The Woods When First We Met"

227. Light and Air

When Anne set foot on solid ground, Matthew, across the yard by the barn, looked up in surprise.

The visitor, taking Anne's hand gently, helped her down the porch steps, and Matthew went into the barn and called Jerry.

"Let's go in the house."

Jerry stopped raking.

"We'll...we'll play a game of checkers, and Marilla will give us lunch."

"But...my work..." Jerry was confused. He was here to do a job, not to come in and play.

"Anne's come out," he said quietly. "She's talking to her visitor now. Let's go in and give them some time."

Jerry nodded, never really understanding what had happened to Anne but knowing that she hadn't been out of the house in a long, long time.

He followed Mr. Cuthbert, and gave Anne a curious glance as he saw her and her visitor walking together toward the chicken coop.

---

As Anne walked beside Lydia, Marilla watched them from the window. She smiled when she saw Anne taking Lydia over to their chickens, and knew that when Anne pointed at them, she was telling Lydia the names she'd given them.

They stopped again where the flowers were blooming and looked at them, and then they continued through the grass until they reached the barn. They did not go in, but walked around the perimeter of it, at a leisurely pace, seemingly comfortable with each other, despite being strangers.

Marilla could see Anne's mouth moving, and knew that she was talking to Lydia. And she kept talking- her mouth kept moving, and never stopped except a brief few minutes when Lydia would seem to say something reassuring in return.

They were gone for a long time.

---

"It's like this one thing affected everything."

Anne had often thought that, but she never had anyone to say it to, not really, because what they would have done was tell her that it didn't have to. And maybe it didn't, but right now it did, and she was very much stuck in right now.

She struggled through her difficult feelings: "Its...every part of me. Everything I do...even the things I want to do in the future...it feels like everything is affected by this. And I hate that."

Lydia nodded. "I understand that. I thought that it should be compartmentalized: it happened at night near the train station, so there was no reason it should affect me to be out in the daytime with my friends. But the feelings came with me everywhere I went."

"It takes up...energy," Anne realized. "Because there are things you never gave a second thought to, and now you have to."

"Exactly," Lydia agreed. "I don't remember thinking all that much about my safety. I suppose we should, but I didn't, really, because I felt safe in my world and it simply wasn't an issue. But now, my surroundings are always at the forefront: Am I walking alone? Will anyone help me if something happens? Do I look vulnerable, that I might attract someone who wants to take advantage? ...I used to like to try to make myself look pretty, now I just try to be unnoticed. And I don't think me looking pretty is what caused that man to attack me, but even so, I feel safer if I just try to be invisible. And can I trust the people I meet? I was always someone who makes friends easily, but now it takes me longer to let people into my life."

When Lydia finished talking, Anne was glad she was there, and walked closer by her side.

Anne picked up the conversation, saying shakily, "There are little things that bring me back. When I least expect it, some...some sight, some sound, some smell, something brings me right back to the memory and for a moment I'm back where I started."