In The Middle (Prinxiety)

Why He Listens and Planning-Seventeen

Leo's POV

I jiggle the doorknob to see if it's unlocked. Big surprise, it's not. So I grab a bobby pin that Thomas will usually have in his hair and pick the look then put it back as if nothing ever happened.

Virge must've heard me picking the lock and jiggling the doorknob as he was sitting on the edge of his bathtub, his face soaked in tears, staring at me.

"Hey bud. Don't worry, he won't tell a soul."

"Yeah. That makes sense."

"I think we both scared the living shits outta him."

Virgil smiles and chuckles.

"There you are!" I says and wipe his tears with a towel next to me, purposely smudging what's left of his makeup.

"Hey you jerk!" He laughs.

"How 'bout you take a shower to calm yourself down. Is your Bluetooth charged?"

"How could it not be?"

"True."

"But that's a good idea."

"Yeah." I say, getting up, "Now, I need to go back to Markus. Thomas has been taking depression pills and it's been really affecting him."

"Yeah. That might be why my headaches and emotions have flown through the roof. I'll talk to him about it."

"That's right. The pills he takes have anxiety reducers in them. "That might be a good idea. I don't want to lose you or my boyfriend."

I squeeze his arms and disappear back into the darker side of the mind palace.

Virgil's POV

I tame my breathing and go to the sink to take off my makeup. I wipe it all off, then start the water and undress. I stare at my scars for a minute while my shower is heating up.

I hop in and hold back a scream from the pain. I take in a few sharp breaths before I'm used to it and start up my music. 

Singing truly calms me down and brings me from the world. 

Whenever I have my headphones on, it's like I'm taken away from humanity and the rest of the world. The sound surrounds me until I no longer feel alone. Until I no longer feel upset, until all of my previous anger or sadness just whisks away. I can tell people are talking, laughing, yelling, arguing, having fun, but I can't hear it at all. I can't hear the torment. I can't hear the voices in me telling me to do things. When I'm listening to music, I feel as though I'm consumed into the music, as if I'm right there when it's being sung live, as though I am sitting there creating lyrics and sitting for hours on end deciding the melodies, the beat, the overall sound of it.

Music brings me out of the darkness of my mind and sheds light into my incredibly dark body. It mutes not only the world, but myself. It calms the war going on in my head. It creates a home. When those headphones are on my head, it's as though I am walking into my house for the first time in years and just collapsing onto my bed with thousands of treats. That's why it's so horrible when it's time to stop the music, when it's time to put away the headphones.

I hate that, but when I'm in my room, I can listen to the music without ever ending it. I can live in music. 

I can feel ALIVE.

The feeling of of never ending music brings my undead body to life.

I slowly settle down and let my mind wander. I soon fall asleep.