Damaged

The Night I Drove Alone

*will probably edit later*
___________________
This letter is an apology to everyone who I've affected..

   I've always been the weakest kid. I was born useless and nothing's going to change that. But there were two people who tried to push me to believe that I could be more than useless. So thank All Might. If it wasn't for your help training endlessly during the summer I wouldn't have gotten the chance to join UA. I wouldn't have been able to meet all the amazing friends that I had throughout the school year.
    Mom, even though you didn't show it in the beginning; I know that you always believed in me. Remember those days we spent playing superhero together? The countless meals of Katsudon you made for me when I was sad about dad leaving us. We had our ups and downs but I wouldn't ask for a better mom.
     And then there's Kacchan. Where do I even start? Sure maybe you were an asshole when we were kids. But man were you cool. All those adventures I'd tag along in. I had the time of my life fighting pretend dragon with you. I'm glad that you've grown up quite a bit since I first met you.
    Uraraka, I don't think I ever officially thanked you for what you did after the entrance exams. How you went up to Hizashi sensei after the exams to try and help me earn points. I knew from the moment I met you that you had a big heart. Thank you for being one of my closest friends.
     Thank you, Iida and the rest of class 1A for making the year a little bit more bearable.
     And, thank you Shoto Todoroki. Thank you for being there for me when know one else was. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused you these past months. I have a tendency to complicate things better then I break things, and you were somehow caught in the in between. But please remember that I love you, and I'm sorry I couldn't be better. You have to be stronger than me. I know that you'll do amazing things in the future. You have so much potential to be something amazing, all of you guys do. So please don't let my death hold any of you guys back.
I wish that the things that I've gone through would just disappear. But every day and night I re-live the same horrors that happened with the villains. I can't escape. It's like I'm not in control of my own body or mind. My humanity was stripped from me when I woke up alone and cold in a bed that wasn't my own.
I am damaged, far too damaged. I'm sorry.

Sincerely,
        Izuku Midoriya
________

*Midoriyas POV*

The car ride back was awkward. The atmosphere in the grey pick up truck was thick with dreary saddens and regret. All Mights car is drowning in the scent of pine wood air fresheners. The leather seats have built-in seat warmers perfect for cold nights like these.

I look out through the windows and watch as we drive through the quiet neighborhood. My emotions are rendered useless after all the crying I did earlier.

My selfishness has cost my mom her only night of sleep. I can only imagine how much anxiety she's feeling back at home. She freaks out anytime I'm sent to the hospital for breaking my bones.

I'm snapped out of my trance when All Might begins to speak to me.

" Are you hungry by any chance?"

" Not at the moment." That's a lie. I've had hunger pains for weeks now. The pain is almost nauseating but making myself something filling to eat is more dreadful then starving. I rarely bother to feed myself and when I do it's always instant ramen.

"Are you sure you've been eating enough? You've gotten quite thin the past few months, and your complexion has gotten a lot paler."

There he goes being the adult he is. I guess I can't blame him for his concern. I've noticed that my ribs have become more noticeable along with my collar bone and hip bones. My face has sunken in quite a bit too which gives me a sickening appearance. I don't really mind though, I think it suits my current mental state.