Kakashi x oc book two

Woah nelly

She hugged her knees and scooted to the edge of the bed. She lightly held his hand trying hard not to wake him up. She didn't want to tell him what happened or talk about it. The ridges of his hand made her feel safe, at peace, at home, all in one breath.

Hikari wanted to rush past all the messy healing and just be okay. She tried so hard to tell herself she came to terms with being a mess in a very messy world. To find clarity for everything that happened to her. But there is only one thing that is clear. She has no idea how to move on.

She wanted to scream and curse and ask the world why. Ask her parents why. Ask Orochimaru. Ask Kakashi. Ask minato. Ask Tsunade. Ask herself why. But she never got a answer. The world just replied to her with silence.

Kakashi's face was soft when he was asleep, no more hardened features. Even threw his mask she could tell. 

She wondered when kakashi got here, what he could of thought when he found her. If he already understood. If he was upset.
What if he's upset? It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. Please don't be mad at me I'm sorry I'm weak. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Her thoughts were interrupted by him squeezing her hand. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up in the chair. When his eyes fell on her he didn't say anything.

Don't get close to him. Don't you'll ruin him. Stop it. Run. You'll only get hurt. Liar, he's a liar. Don't touch him. Run. Run. Run.

She withdrew her hand and looked down.

"Hikari."

Her voice was ghostly "I'm loosing my mind"

"You'd be crazy not to. You aren't just gonna be fine magically. But I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

"I. I know, like I can tell myself you aren't going anywhere but how do I actually convince myself. I believe you but there's just- it's like... I- um. It's like this voice I guess you could say telling me I can't trust you, that I'm just gonna get hurt. I'm so scared to hurt more than I already do, this is unbearable..."

He thought for a second. "I understand, from a third person point of view. Tell me one thing I can do, as small or as big as you'd like, to establish some form of trust. Even if it's just 1%"

She looked around thinking, her eyes landed on his mask. Looking up into his eyes she said "your mask."

She was waiting for him to tell her to pick something else but he said, "deal."

He held his hand out and they shook on it. This was really happening. She'd brag so hard to Obito.

He pulled it down.

Her eyes widened and her face blushed. Making his blush.

"Woah nelly..."

He started laughing really hard. This was the first time she ever saw his smile.

Holy shit

She looked at him star struck. He had a freckle on his chin. She could see the full length of his scar.

She looked at him smugly and in a weird voice she said " you should let me see your face more often"

"Nope. One time thing." He pulled it back up.

"Nooooooo!! Evil." Hikari pouted crossing her arms.

"Can I ask you something."

She opened one eye "shoot"

"Why did you get me when you needed someone."

There were a lot of reasons, but she couldn't tell him them. It made her ashamed.
"I don't know."

" can I hug you?"

Her face reddened. "..yes"

He slowly stood, sitting next to her. Locking eyes with her for a brief moment before pulling her into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around her neck and for a moment that's all she could feel. Him. No pain. His smell filled her nose and she closed her eyes. It made her heart beat faster but at the same time calmed her down.

"Don't let go... please"

He laid down, taking her down with him as he did.
Her back was to the wall and her face in his neck. They didn't say anything after that, she took the pads of her fingers and traced circled on his back. He ever so slightly caressed her body, making her shudder. He made sure not to over step. Analyzing all of her reactions. When he ran hind hand back up her back and entailed his fingers in her hair she smiled.

Not long after that they were both asleep.

—————

She woke up really early, kakashi was sprawled out on her bed dead asleep. The sun wasn't up yet and it felt so cozy laying there with him. It was the best feeling ever. She curled up into a ball leaning into his side. Soft slow breaths escaped from his mouth and made her feel calm.

When the sun came up he woke up, kakashi lifted his head and looked at her. His bed hair was cute and so was his sleepy eyes.

What sucked is he had to go on a mission today for Anbu. He'd be back in a week or two but it might as well be forever.

They said their goodbyes. He grabbed the top of her head and placed his forehead on hers. "See ya soon".
He put his mask on and was gone.

Now she was a little nervous. Could she do this without him. Well she'd have to, but it was terrifying.

Alright let's start small

She took her dress and threw it away. She'd have to get new ninja clothes soon. She erased everything that reminded her of Orochimaru. Her hands burned from being raw but it didn't stop her from washing them a few more times.

There was a knock at her door. When she opened it her eyes went wide and all she could say was "oh... hi"

Rin looked up at her with sad eyes "Hey... can we talk?"

They walked outside for awhile

"I'm sorry hikari. For everything. I'm not a mean person, I never wanted to turn into this." She teared up "I was so scared of loosing kakashi, I practically handed him to you. But I know we weren't right for each other. We brought out the worst in each other. Love does make you crazy. I need to take responsibility for what I've done. It it weren't for kakashi I would have left you there, and I'm sorry. You have always been a good friend to me, you didn't deserve it. You don't deserve any of this. I know you might never forgive me, and I understand completely. Just thank you for everything."

Hikari put her hands in her pockets, "I'm not ready to forgive you yet, but I respect you for owning up to it. I'm sure one day we can work on our bond. Till then I have to focus on working on myself. I'm a mess right now."

Rin looked down and stopped making hikari stop too. "Promise me.."

"Promise you?"

"Promise me you'll take care of him..."

Wind blew Hikari's black curtain of hair and she looked at her with a sad but understanding expression.

"I promise"