I fell in love

Chapter 22

Starting this day with a not-so-happy face isn't exactly ideal, but I can't fake what I'm feeling. The truth is, I'm not okay. Not really.

Yesterday, I asked Althea to talk to Nathalie. I pushed her to finally have that conversation. To put an end to whatever loose threads were still hanging between them. I told myself it was the right thing to do.

I don't even know where the idea came from. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was trust. Or maybe I just wanted to believe that closure could fix the tension hanging over everything.

I just think that if they will be able to finally clear the air, we can finally breathe. I wanted it to mean an ending. A clean break. But what if it wasn't the end at all?

What if that one conversation opens a door I can't close again? What if hearing each other's voices brings back things they thought they buried?

I keep thinking about how four years is hard to walk away from. And I'm scared.

 Because if talking to Nathalie makes Althea remember how it felt to be loved by her, I don't know if I'll ever be enough to compete with that.

Still, I try to hold on to the idea that maybe something good will come out of it. Maybe they'll finally understand what they truly need. 

"Mornin'" she moved closer.

"Good morning," I smiled. Tumagilid ako paharap sa kanya.

"Any plans for today?" She said with a low voice enough for me to hear.

"None. Sandali lang ako sa resto. How about your plans after you guys talk?" I replied.

"I wanna go out with you today," nagsumiksik siya sa leeg ko. "Will that be fine, tho?"

"Of course." Nagtayuan ang mga balahibo ko lalo na yung nasa batok nang sinimulan niyang paulanan ng mumunting halik yung leeg ko. "Susunduin mo ako?" Kunwaring wala lang, I asked.

"Yeah. Well... may mga bibilhin din ako."

"Okay. Get up. Magluluto na ako ng almusal." Sukat sa narinig, mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin.

"No!"

"Althea," medyo natatawang saad ko.

"No," pinalungkot at pinahaba niya ang pagkakabanggit non.

"We really need to get up. Anong oras na,"

"Baby please, just give me a minute. Saglit na lang. I'm still sleepy."

Umayos siya ng higa at lalong hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin.

"Mariz..." mahina at malambing niyang saad. "Wanna watch a movie later?"

Naramdaman ko ang mga mumunti niyang halik sa leeg ko.

Alam ko na agad kung saan kami mapupunta nito. Hindi ko na rin nagugustuhan yung ganito na palagi na lang kaming hindi natutuloy.

"Like, dito... sa unit." It was a whisper. Just enough for me to hear and understand what she's trying to say.

"Magbabayad ako ng bills bago umalis sa resto mamaya. I'll try to go home early."

"Can I come with you today when you run your errands? Nath and I will talk quickly so I should be able to be with you on the afternoon." Sambit niya sa akin. 

"Okay, pero... mag asikaso muna tayo. Pwede?" Natatawang saad ko habang nanggigigil na kinurot ang magkabilaan niyang pisngi.

Kanina pa namin pinaguusapan kung saan manonood. She requested to just stay and watch in her unit but something inside me badly wants to go out.