Soldier of Love

Jacob's Reaction

“Naomi?”

            “Yes, Jay?”

            “Can I kiss you?”

She rolled over on her side and looked at me. I was afraid she was going to snap off because she didn’t even answer. But if she did snap off, I probably deserve it. I can see her now, “Jacob why the hell would I kiss you after what you put me through. Uh un. Get you some business.”

But she didn’t do that. She just scooted over and straddled over me. Her hands ran through my hair and I knew she was searching my eyes for a connection. It was there. I know it was.

I took advantage of the situation and lay back on the sand. She followed my league and her body went slower, almost as if she was lying on top of me. But she wasn’t. She was straddled and hovering over me.

And then our lips touched for the first time in four years.

It was like our first kiss all over again.

The sparks flew and I felt something.

I know she felt something.

We were meant to be.

You can’t deny love, nor run from it. No matter how hard you try to escape it, someway, somehow it follows you. I’m pretty sure Naomi realizes that. I know everywhere she goes she gets reminded of me, and all the times we’ve run into each other. That wasn’t me stalking her. That was us being destined to be together.

I had no idea she was coming to UCLA, I had no idea she was majoring in writing. Okay, well maybe I did. But I found that out because of Chresanto. He was telling me that Fatou and Naomi weren’t gonna be going to school together. By the time I found that out, I was already enrolled into UCLA. And again, having similar schedules so far is destiny.

But our lips—they moved in a synced movement. Our lips know each other all too well. They’re so familiar; soft and thin, but not too thin. They’re perfect. And we’re so used to each other. They know what we want and how we want it. So may it be no surprise that our lips parted and the same exact moment and our bodies were pressed closer together and I swear—I wouldn’t trade this moment in for anything else in the world.

Needless to say I wouldn’t dare take it too far. I’m moving at her pace. In the words of Chris Brown, we’ll crawl. Then we’ll walk again and we’ll run, until we’re strong enough to jump and we’ll fly until there is no en.

The point of this would be is that I’m willing to do any and everything it takes to prove myself worthy of her love again. I made her fall in love with me once and I can do it again. I know I can.

It’s worth it.

Naomi doesn’t compare to any other girl. Defiantly not the girls I messed with. That was me getting mixed up in the wrong crowd. All that attention I got, I craved me. I was greedy and I forgot about the beautiful girlfriend I had. Had I been aware and acknowledge all of this that I’m understanding now, my choices would have been way different.

And when you narrow it all down, this all sucks. I’m the reason behind my ex’s pain and sorrow. I’m the reason my mother is dead. Do you know how it feels to be told that I deserve it? So many times that you believed it too? Yes, all of this happened.

When word got out that my mother was dead and I wasn’t there to protect her because I was too busy smoking dope, I was the main talk of the streets. I would have thought Naomi would have known, but then gain no. she spend most of her time in New York with Daniel. The thought of that makes me envious. The thought that he can do way more for her than I can angers me. Don’t even get me started on what I think they may have done while they were together.