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I'm Gay...

I Feel Like People Don't Appreciate how Funny Itachi Could Really Be

    Itachi's POV:
Everyday, I watch Sasuke come one slump down on one of the kitchen chairs at our rickety table, and bangs his head on it a couple times. Every time, I tell him he's going to give himself a concussion, and every time he says, " I hope it kills me," complete with the signature Uchiha glare, and the middle finger. Every day this happens, and I tell myself every day before he gets home, to put some goddamn earplugs in. But every time I get scared that I won't hear him banging his head, and he'll bang his head away to his death. So, everyday I debate putting earplugs in, and everyday. I decide not to.
    But for some reason, Sasuke didn't come home on time. He came home thirty minutes past his usual 3:10 sharp, and stood in the doorway with his stuff dropped on the floor. He had the most dazed expression on his face. I could have walked up and slapped the boy across the face, and tattooed Usuratonkachi on his forehead and he wouldn't have moved, not even blinked. And my literal first thought was, "he finally did himself in with all of his fricking head banging, he's scrambled his brain." That or he's have a brain stroke. Or possibly and aneurysm. I honestly had no Idea.
    I walked out of the kitchen and stared down at him, studying his face. He turned his eyes to me, and said,
" Itachi... I think I'm gay..." And with that, my newly gay baby brother, went and stumbled his way up stairs like a zombie. I heard a loud, "thunk!", and a string of profanities followed it, ripping through the air and scaring the old lady across the street mowing her lawn. I waved to her, and shut the front door with a sigh. I suppose it's my fault Sasuke knows that many bad words, a number of them have been directed at the dogs in the alley that tried to kill my chickens, and shredded my favorite apron. The white ruffled one with red clouds sewn onto the front. I unfortunately made the decision recently to stop swearing as much and I have resorted to using ice cream flavors, which just depress me.
"Hey Punk! Get your strawberry cheesecake-ing duckbutt down here!" I holler up the stairs and put my hands on my hips and pout, a classic mom move directed towards her son.
"Stop looking like a dejected mother then, Usuratonkachi," Sasuke replies as he hobbles down the stairs, sits at the rickety table and cradle his bruised foot.
I rolled my eyes at him, and then asked,
"Sooo... care to explain why you're gay?"
"His name is Naruto, and he's fucking gorgeous,"