blacklist ; ateez

13

choi eunji

i am now currently working in a club downtown to finance my needs and to pay for my new apartment while my family is busy finding a suitable and safe house for us.

being a server isn't that hard, it's not like the stereotypical stuff our society made us think. we wore a long sleeved top and slacks paired with rubber shoes so it's pretty comfortable i might say.

but you won't get rid of drunk perverts who would eventually try to grab your butt or make you sit with them, luckily i haven't been touched by anyone because i break their wrists before they could even touch me.

"ma'am, can i make a request?" my eyes rolled at the person whom i just served.

"how may i help you, mister jeong yunho?"

he had a smug grin on his face, like it's saying that he's going to pester me the whole time he is here.

to which he is.

"you can help by drinking with me." he said while holding up a bottle of soju and handing me a shot glass filled with soju.

my eyes rolled at the sight as i sat down beside him, "wow okay smarty pants, i know you're not here just to drink, what do you want?"

he then looked at me seriously before taking a deep breath.

"what happened? are you okay? we were worried, especially me and mingi. but of course i was worried the most."

i snorted at his dorkiness as i drank the glass of soju, which he refilled shortly after.

"i'm pretty fine i guess, just a few cuts and stuff." i shrugged while drinking another glass.

he was in the midst of pouring me another glass when he suddenly grabbed both my hands and examined it, but i resisted and tried to take my arm back.

"what?! let me see your hands young lady!"

"you're only older by months." i said with a pout and looked down to my feet in disgrace, knowing how disappointed he is at the moment.

he sighed and massaged his temples, "but still, why would you do this?"

"because i want to feel, okay? i feel drained and i just want to feel anything other than being stuck in this dark pit." my mind was telling me to stop spouting nonsense but my heart tells me to let
everything out.

and when i looked up, his sad eyes greeted mine as he held my scarred arms gently.

"you should've just told me, told us."

"and then what? you will all get hurt if you stick with someone like me. i'm the problem, see? yena and my family got hurt because of me. i can't afford to lose any of your either." i shook my head from the thought of losing one of them because of me.

yunho grabbed my chin and lifted it up so we are now staring at each other's sadness-filled eyes.

i looked away and drank all the remaining alcohol on the once full bottle of soju.

i sighed and looked at my feet, not wanting to utter a single word, wanting this comfortable silence to embrace me.

"we promised to stick together right? you, me and mingi? what happened? where did we go wrong?" his voice had a hint of confusion which tore my heart to pieces. no, i don't want them to be sad.

"no no, nothing is wrong with the two of you, any of you. i'm the one who's wrong. i am the root of all this. you must get rid of me." i pleaded, but i knew he wouldn't let that happen.

"no we won't, you know why? because we love you and we will make sure to keep you safe even if it means getting hurt."

i pushed him away lightly and laughed sarcastically, "just... stop okay. just stop. i-i don't know anymore, i'm confused. i don't know who to trust anymore. w-what if someone i know was the true mastermind of this? what if it's someone i hold dearly?"

my mind is now wandering elsewhere and nowhere at the same time, maybe it's because the soju is now taking effect...?

"it is possible, but i promise you, no one in ateez is capable of doing that to you." he then embraced me just like how he did before, back when we don't have problems, back when we don't have to resort to violence.

"y'all are full of promises, you and mingi. you shitheads, this is why i love you both."

my tears fell and as soon as that, i fell asleep in his arms, not hearing what he said after.

"i love you too."