"Only in the darkness can you see stars."
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It has been six years since Ben Solo succumbed to his fate and betrayed the Jedi Order after being seduced by the Dark Side. With the aid of his immense power, the First Order has cast a shadow over the g...
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I'm still too angry to look at Kylo, but I have a job to do. I raise my fist to knock on his door as I draw near, but it hisses open before I have the chance to do so. Figures.
"What do you want?" He growls lowly, his slightly-slurred words betraying his exhaustion. I pause, wondering if I'd interrupted him while he made a rare attempt at sleep. I'm not supposed to care how much sleep he gets anymore, I think to myself, while stepping inside. The door clicks shut behind me.
The room is almost pitch black, and it's nearly impossible to pick him out. I cautiously approach the back corner of the room, supposing that would be a logical area for the bed to be placed.
My heart leaps in my throat as I run into something soft and stumble. My hands land on broad shoulders, and I hear an angered grunt.
"Why didn't you tell me that I was going to run into you?" I hiss, exasperated, brows furrowed in disbelief. I hear him swallow, and I feel his curls tickle my knuckles at the slight inclination of his head. He's wearing a thin tank top, I notice, and I detect the muscles in one of his arms contracting as he slowly raises it.
The room is gradually lit at his will so that the two of us can see. That's when I realize just how close his face is to mine, and that I am completely straddling his waist as he sits on the floor, propped up against the side of his bed.
"Shit." I curse, quickly rolling off of him and adjusting so that I'm sitting cross legged at his side. He bends his knees so that he can hug them to his chest, resting his chin there. "Why are you sitting on the floor?" I ask, after a beat of quiet.
"Couldn't sleep." He mutters, looking everywhere in the room but me. I peer at him, traitorous feelings of sympathy swirling in my stomach. One of the stitches on his forehead has come loose, I notice with a jolt, and I contemplate for several seconds if I should mention it. I shake my head at myself.
This isn't going the way it was supposed to at all.
I need to rebuild his trust in me. For the sake of the Resistance and the galaxy, I need to earn my place as his sole confidant once again.
If that means faking feelings, then so be it.
"You've popped a stitch. Should I send for a med droid?" I mumble, reaching to touch the puckered skin. He flinches as my fingertip makes the slightest contact, and I pull it away with similar gusto. When I look at my finger, I can see that it has come away with a drop of sticky blood.
"No." He denies immediately, and I smirk, vaguely recalling his distrust of medics of any kind- a trait that Leia had once told me he had carried since boyhood.
"Let me fix it, then." I suggest, boldly taking one of his clammy hands in mine. His eyes linger on our entwined grasp, and he remains quiet for so long that I begin to believe he hadn't heard me.
"I heard you." Kylo mutters in response to one of my freer thoughts, which I realize that I should try harder to safeguard. I slam the barriers back into place. If he notices, he doesn't show it. "Fine." He gruffly consents. He pulls his hand away.
I try not to look stricken, fighting the redness that threatens to bloom on my face as hard as I can. I scramble to my feet, entering the attached bathroom to search for a med kit. I open the medicine cabinet and almost miss it, as it's black (just as everything else, of course), which makes it blend in to its place on the bottom shelf.
I carry it back to Kylo, flipping it open and preparing the materials I will need to give him a new stitch.
"Do you want something to numb your skin?" I ask, already grabbing the numbing cream.
"No." He replies curtly.
"Suit yourself." I mutter, shaking my head. I scoot closer to him. I exhale, willing away the nerves I'd suddenly began to feel as I purposely came as close to him as necessary.
With a shaky hand, I cupped the left side of his jaw and shifted it upwards, so that he was finally looking at me. I can feel his breath fanning out over my face, and I see every freckle the sun had sprinkled over his cheeks all those years ago. I begin the task right away, fully aware of his gaze boring holes into my forehead. My heart has picked up speed, and I can tell he hears it in the back of his mind from the twitch of his lips. He doesn't react as I first penetrate his skin with the wire and pull it through with the pliers, even as the knot catches itself in the hole.
I push away memories similar to this, from when we were younger. I was trained medically for the sake of our padawan class, and although we had med droids at the Temple, I was always the only one he trusted to tend his wounds.
"Done." I whisper, letting out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. We stare into each other's eyes for what feels like hours but can only be a few seconds, when Kylo breaks the silence.
"You never told me why you were here." He bites his lip, and I can't help my gaze catching on it. I shift, mentally slapping myself.
Perhaps I'm better at faking feelings than I thought.
"Right." I say, sitting back so that we're not in such close proximity any longer. "I wanted to see if, maybe... you were interested in daily, lighthearted sparring. I'm terribly bored here, and perhaps I could help you build up on your skills." I explain.
The idea had originally been a means for spending more time with him, so that I'd be able to gain his trust much quicker. But upon considering it, I found that it was something I had missed doing for a really long time. It might even be... fun.
"How do I know you're not doing this to try and strike me down so you can escape?" He frowns, running his fingers through his inky curls once.
"Come on, Kylo. Would I lie to you?"
Yes.
I can see the conflict in his gaze before he turns away, considering this.
"Fine. I'll get you from your room, sometime tomorrow afternoon." He agrees, hesitantly.
Mission accomplished.
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idk if i've explained this already but in this story there's gonna be like 3 weeks to a month in between what happened in tfa and tlj, i know it's probably not 100% accurate but it means more chapters to this story (since it's ending after the events of tlj) so i hope that's ok
