"Sweet, another question for the resident cool kid."
"Shouldn't that be me now? Since you dressed me up to look cool?" *mumbles* "Even though I look stupid."
"Dude, we went over this, you're not cool. You look it, but that's only the first rung of the echeladder of cool. Now let me pull up the fucking question, Eghead."
homestuckbabe:
Dave why do you always wear those shades John got you all the time I mean at least take them off indoors or wear a different pair than the same one over and over.
"Classified."
"Y'know, I'm curious too, Dave! Why do you wear those shades I got you all the time? It can't just be because they're from me, right? Even if they were the only ones you liked, why don't you ever take them off when you're inside or when it's nighttime or whatever?"
"Some information isn't made to be shared, bro, and this is one of those things. Just drop it like it's hot, okay?"
"Daaaaaaaave! You know you're gonna tell me!"
"Nope. I ain't telling you shit."
"You will! I have my ways. My prankster's gambit is through the roof and I will prank you until you tell me!" *pokes Dave's shoulder*
"Is that a challenge?"
"Maybe it is!"
"Fine then, you're so gonna lose though. And when you do, YOU have to admit that Con Air is a fucking horrible movie."
"Oh hell no, Dave. That movie is perfection." *glares*
"Dude, it fucking sucks. When that movie plays, everyone in a ten-mile radius dies of pure suck. That'll be me someday."
"I can see your tombstone now...'Here lies Dave Strider, local cool kid that was actually the dorkiest nerd to ever exist, who died of the pure genius that is Con Air.'"
"I'm not a nerd. You're the nerd. You with your buck teeth and nerdy glasses and always with the ghost shirts. You're such an idiot too, flying around like, 'Oh hi, I'm John Egbert, I can fly and shit because I'm a douchebag leader except oh wait, I'm not the leader, I'm just everyone's friend!'"
"Wow, Dave. That was literally the worst impression of me I've ever heard. And I've heard Karkat try to do one." *rolls eyes*
"Shut up it was the best gogdamn thing you've ever heard."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"Anyways do we have a bet?" *holds out hand*
"You bet your smuppets we do!" *shakes hand while grinning*
*grimaces* "You know I fucking hate those things! Demon spawn, I kid you not!"
YOU ARE READING
Ask John and Dave
Fanfictionhey guys! dave and i are starting this ask thing! ask us any questions you want! :B lay all your weird or creepily personal questions on us, we can take it dave! ((Cover art belongs to ikimaru! Check her out on tumblr, she's awesome!))
