Ask John and Dave

Entry 3

"Daaaaaaaave! This one is for you!"

"Cool, let me see it bro, move your fat ass."

*crosses arms over chest* "Rude!"

"Whatever dude."

homestuckbabe:

Dave you should give John an ironic make over to make him look cool.

"Aww hell yeah."

"Dave, no!"

"Shut up, Egbert we are so doing this. Prepare to be denerdified."

~several minutes later~

"Dave I look fucking stupid!"

"No you don't, you actually look cool for once, and there is nothing stupid about being cool."

"There is if I have to wear these dumb shades! How do you even walk around in these every day? I can't see anything!" *gropes around blindly*

"Shut up, Egderp."

*computer beeps*

"Great! Another question! If only I could find the fucking computer!" *glares in Dave's general direction.

"We need to work on your cool kid façade. You look cool, but you're acting like a doofus." *pulls up question on computer*

MagicalMushrooms:

Hey John, just thought I'd let you know, Dave broke your Con Air disk!

Dave I warned you not to mess with those disks.

"Shut up shut up shut up, I thought we agreed that didn't happen!"

"Dave, what do you mean? What'd they say? C'mon, you know I can't see shit right now! Read it to me!"

"We don't need to respond to this one!" *nervous laugh*

"Dave just tell me what the question is you douchebag!"

"Nope."

"Ugh, fine! I'll just read it myself!" *rips off shades and pushes Dave away from computer*

"Wait dude, don't!" *totally doesn't fall on the ground* (too cool for that shit)

"...Dave. Mother. Fucking. Strider."

"Shit."

"YOU BROKE MY CON AIR DISC!?"

"Oh fuck."

"DAVE THAT WAS THE ONLY COPY OF THE MOVIE I HAD!"

"Dude, bro, chill! I'll get you another one if it means so much to you!"

"No Dave, this is more than just the physical object. You destroyed a work of art. A masterpiece, Dave. It was beautiful, and you dared to soil such a fucking amazing movie. And that is not okay. Not at all."

"Okay, John, calm the fuck down. It's a movie, and a shitty one at that. If you want, I'll go buy you another one right now, okay? But you need to chillax. This'll be good practice for your cool kid façade. Act aloof like you don't care and aren't going to pound me with the ol' Zillyhoo."

*takes deep breath* "Fine, Dave. You win, as long as you buy me another one today. But mark my words, Knight of Time! If this ever happens again, I will do the windy thing to you so hard, you'll end up in Oz having tea parties with the flying monkeys."

"Okay, I get it, Jegus." *rolls eyes*

*glares at Dave* "You have been warned!"

"Gee thanks."

"What did you even do? How did you break it in the first place?"

"Well, it's not like I was practicing sword fighting near the movie pile, then accidentally scratched the disk. And I totally didn't try to fix it and made it worse instead. Steel wool was not accidentally grabbed like a puppet ass. At all. There's also absolutely no way I was warned by someone beforehand not to practice near the movie pile. Nah man, I'm way too ice-cool to be a part of any of that stupid shit."

"First of all, you're a dick for not listening to someone who warned you not to do something that is obviously something you shouldn't do. Secondly, you know the only person who can fix scratched disks is Doc Scratch. Not a Strider with a bucket-load of time powers, half a blade, and an army of alternate timeline versions of himself, of which most are dead." *rolls eyes at Dave's stupidity*

"Shut the fuck up, Egnerd."

"Whatever you say, Stridork."