Ask John and Dave

Entry 15

XenaWolf:

I'm not always on Dave's side, I just believe a dude should have his privacy. *shrugs and sits on floor*

"Well if we take equal rights for all into account..." *shrugs* "He knows what I'm allergic to, why shouldn't I know what his allergies are? It's not like they're embarrassing or anything, anyways."

MagicalMushrooms:

John, I got another computer. Also, before Wolf can steal that one too, the password might be "lame" for ironic purposes.

"MagicalMushrooms you are god." *hugs computer to chest and eyes Wolf warily* "And I'd love to try it, but I got locked out of the password entry selection for the rest of the day." *pouts*

*door opens* "John, I'm home! And I brought donuts!" *Dave walks in with Krispy Kreme box in hand*

*panics and hides computer behind back* "D-Dave! Wow, you're home fast!" *laughs nervously*

"Yeah, the place was deserted for some weirdass reason. Not like I'm complaining, though." *sets box on counter and grabs napkins*

"John."

"Yeah?"

"Hand it over." *holds out hand*

"Gog dammit!" *shoves computer in Dave's hand*

"Thank you very much." *places computer on the counter in front of him*

*mumbles curses*

"You sure as hell aren't going to make me eat all this sugary goodness on my own, are you?" *raises eyebrow*

*perks up and walks over*

*Dave opens the box*

*gasps* "Oh my gog, they're so awesome!"

"Well, they aren't getting any unhealthier."

*grabs one and bites into it* "They're so good!!!" *stuffs the rest in his mouth*

*takes one and eats it* "Well whadaya know, they aren't completely bullshit."

"Dave, you're the best!!! " *smiles and hugs him tightly*

"Dude...you're...crushing...me..."

"Sorry!" *lets go*

*gasps and coughs* "I-it's cool. I'm good."

"Awkward apologetic bro hug?" *holds out arms*

"Lay it on me." *copies John*

*hugs Dave, but not super tightly* "Seriously, thank you."

"You're welcome. Now are you going to let my money go to waste, bro? Fucking rude. Eat the donuts while they're hot."

"On it!" *grabs another and grins*

homestuckbabe:

John try your name, he does love you.

"..." *blushes* "N-no he doesn't! Well I mean, not in that way! Dave may have a lot of gay tendencies for ironic purposes, but as far as I know as his best bro, he's not actually gay. And especially not for me! Besides, I can't do anymore passwords until tomorrow. I'll have to figure out a way to get him out of the house again..."

"Get me out of the house for what?"

"Dave! I need to get you out of the house because...you're so pale! You need to get more sunlight, you're probably super low on vitamin D!" *laughs nervously*

"Dude, I lived in Texas for a majority of my life. I get plenty of Vitamin D, I just don't tan at all. Like ever. My skin is just really fucked up." *shrugs*

"Okay, if you say so!"

"Why are you suddenly worried about my vitamin levels, anyway?" *quirks eyebrow*

"No reason! I'm just looking out for you, bro! Can't have you getting sick on me, now can I?"

*shudders* "I would fucking die with my life in your hands if I got sick. Mental note, never EVER get sick."

"Oh shut up, I would be an awesome caretaker! I'd feed you and give you fresh drinks and make sure you had plenty of things to keep you entertained while bedridden."

"You're making it sound like you'd be watching a puppy or a small child. I am not five, John, I'm sixteen, get your shit straight." *crosses arms*

"Well sorry! No need to get all defensive." *rolls eyes*

"You were making me sound like a toddler or some shit. And you do realize that you're the youngest out of you, me, Jade, and Rose, right?" *smirks*

"Only by a few months! Are you always going to hold that over my head?" *whines*

"I'll always hold everything over your head, dude. Y'know, since I'm so much taller."

"Shut up, Dave! Y'know what? I take it back! You're totally not the best!"

"I am. You just can't handle my levels of cool."

"Are not."

"I so am."

"No you're not!"

"John, yes."

"Dave, no!"

"Just accept it, bro. Accept that my cool is so much higher up the echeladder than you."

"Nope. Never gonna happen. I don't accept lies." *shakes head*

"I sense extreme levels of denial."

"You sound like Rose now."

"Hell no."

"You so do." *grins*

"Shut the fuck up, Egbert."