Ask John and Dave

Entry 9

XenaWolf:

Dave we shall stand together and make peanutcheese a thing. *looks up into the sky*

"Hell motherfucking yes. It will be a revolution in the food world." *looks up into the sky, daydreaming of peanutcheese*

*facepalm x2 combo* "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

MagicalMushrooms:

Eat it. EAT THE PEANUTCHEESE!!

"Two words: fuck. No."

"You said you were going to! Are you going back on your sacred bro-promise, Egbert?"

"It wasn't a promise. It was an accidental misuse of words. I'm not eating your fucking peanutcheese."

"John. Dude. Bro. We are so deep in this shit. The peantcheese is so fucking close, man, I can taste it. And you're right there with me, tasting it too because you gave me your sacred bro-oath." *wraps an arm around John's shoulder and waves the other one in a wide arc in front of them* "I can see it now, you and your buck teeth as the face of peanutcheese. You'll be famous, bro. People will eat that shit when they see your face, and they'll love your face cuz hey, the shit is pretty fan-fucking-tastic and your face is associated."

"People will hate me for lying by acting like I enjoy the shit that you'll be selling when it's fucking disgusting." *pushes him away*

"Dude, no. It'll be fucking awesome, and we're making this happen. You, me, and XenaWolf. Together, we will conquer the motherfucking food world. We will be the queens of food and packaged goods. All other foods and their spokesman/brand faces will bow."

"...even the Batter Witch?"

"Especially the Batter Bitch."

"...I'm in."

"Fuck yes."

homestuckbabe:

John, why don't you put your glasses on Dave and put on his shades?

"Ooh, that's a good idea! Daaaaaaaave! Come here! I have something for you!" *giggles*

"What, Egderp? I'm trying to come up with a slogan for peanutcheese." *walks over*

"Good luck with that. Now, close your eyes!" *snickers*

*eyes John suspiciously* "What shit are you planning?"

"Who, me? Why I'm an innocent little angel!" *floats and smiles like an innocent child*

"The fuck you are." *crosses arms* "I'm talking to an Egbert here."

"Oh, just fucking do it, Dave!" *rolls eyes*

"Fine, fine. Jegus, calm yo shit, bro." *closes eyes*

"Good boy! Now hold still!" *giggles and puts his own glasses on Dave*

"Oh, so you were just giving me my shades back? Why all the drama and secrecy, dude?" *furrows eyebrows and stupidly remains oblivious to the fact that he's not wearing his shades, but rather John's glasses*

*floats Dave's shades back and puts them on* "Hehehe this is going to be so awesome! Okay Dave, open your eyes!"

*opens his eyes* "Whoa, I can't see shit! What the fuck did you do, John?"

*opens eyes and immediately falls to the ground* "Dave! How the fuck do you see anything? They're so dark!"

"Everything is all warped and blurry and there's way too much light agh fuck." *gropes around blindly*

"I don't know where you got the idea that these shades are cool, I feel like a doofus, bumping into things!" *swings arms around to feel things*

*both stumble into each other and fall on the ground all tangled up*

"Well hey there." *grins*

"Dave, these shades are shit, I shouldn't have ever gotten them for you."

"No dude, what's shit is your eyesight. I can't see anything even close to normally with these things messing up my vision."

"Hey, my eyes aren't THAT bad!"

*looks at him pointedly from above the glasses*

"Okay maybe they are kind of bad. But seriously, are you a bat? These shades are so dark, I don't even know how you manage to get around at all."

"Years of mastering the art."

"Ah, because that's what normal people do." *rolls eyes*

"Who in hell said we were normal? We wear god hooded pjs and have aliens for pal-honchos."

"Touché."