Ask John and Dave

Entry 5

"John, this one's for you. And I think you'll get a real kick out of it." *pushes away from computer laughing*

homestuckbabe:

John are you a homosexual?

"W-what!? Of course I'm not! How many times to I need to tell you people!?"

"Dude, you're so gay."

"I am not! I just love Nic Cage!"

"See, that right there. That is why the argument continues. You say you're not gay, but then you follow up with the fact that you love a dude. That is not a good way to convince people that you aren't homo, John."

"But I'm not!"

"Are so."

"Definitely not!"

"There's no denying it."

"Shut up, Dave, I'm not gay!"

"Can you feel the gay tonight?"

"Dave no!" *groans*

"John. Yes."

*groans in frustration and pounds head on wall*

"It's okay, Egbert, I'm here for you. You can cry on my shoulder and write angsty songs about how no one understands you. Wait no, scratch the song writing, I'll write your angsty songs because you can't piece together lyrics to save your life."

"Shut it, Strider."

*computer beeps*

"Are you going to make me get that, Egbert?"

*groaning*

"Fine. Jegus, stop being such a big homosexual baby." *rolls eyes*

erisolshipper:

Hey um...could one of you lend me a computer? II uh...kiinda...

Admin: He blew his up again.

2hut iit Admiin...but yeah...

Admin: Oh and what blood colors do you think you would be if you were trolls!?

"Wow, Sollux. Congratulations, you are now at Karkat's level when it comes to computer smarts. Here, you can have Egbert's old Cosbytop as a consolation prize so you don't feel so shitty."

*hands him computer*

"Wait, Dave! Don't just give away one of my computers!" *runs over*

"Do you ever use this shitty thing anymore?"

"No, but you know what Jade says! Always have a few extra just in case!"

"John, you DO have a few extra. You can spare one."

"What about you? Why don't you give him one of your computers?"

"I only have two, you have like four."

"...fine. Oh, and if I was a troll? I'd probably have blue blood. Like a lighter blue, not a darker blue. But that would be so weird, being a troll! Don't you think, Dave?"

"Yeah, that would be pretty hella weird. I'd probably have...I don't know. Red maybe?"

"Dave! Are you aware that you're basically inviting Karkat to yell at you?" *whisper yells*

"Why would he yell at me? Aside from obvious reasons."

"Because...ugh, I can't tell you!" *puffs cheeks out in frustration*

"Wait whoa, what are you not telling me, bro? This is not something bros do."

"You won't tell me why you always wear those shades I got you."

"...touché."

"I'll tell you when you tell me."

"No fucking way man, forget it."

"Fine, then I guess you'll never know."

"As if I care about another reason for Karkat to get his shit worked up, it could be anything. He gets his panties in a twist about every little fucking thing."

"Don't be so mean, Dave! Besides, I think it's kind of funny when he gets all mad like that." *laughs* "His trolling is hilarious."

"In your opinion. I think it's fucking annoying."

"You think almost everything is annoying, Dave." *rolls eyes*

"The world is just not cool enough to keep me interested."