Ask John and Dave

Entry 16

((A/N: I'm gone for a little over a week and bam!))

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XenaWolf:

You guys stop fighting. *hands them each their favorite kind of candy*

"Mmh, I don't think I could say no to such a delicious offering!" *opens bag of MnMs and pops a handful in his mouth*

"Oh hell yes. John, I'm sorry dude, let's never fight again." *opens bag of strawberry Twizzlers*

"Agreed!"

MagicalMushrooms:

Dave, I heard there's this one really sick concert coming to town. Someone said something about some fan winning some cool shit if they won a rap battle? I don't know.

MagicalMushrooms:

Also, John, you should definitely eat all of those donuts. Those things are like heaven in a goddamn box.

"Huh, sounds pretty sweet. I wonder who's playing at the concert? Better not be some of that stupid hipster-shit that somehow passes for music." *rolls eyes*

"Dude, don't hate on other people's music tastes!"

"Ampora listens to that shit." *cocks eyebrow*

"...good point."

"And a rap contest? I'd totally own that shit. I would drop a beat like its hot and completely blow the audience away with my amazing rapping skills. People would be crying and I'd probably win an award or something. Cool kid of the year."

"Sure, Dave. Y'know, cause you're just that awesome." *rolls eyes*

"Hell yeah I am."

"Wait, the donuts! I was distracted by us fighting and MnMs! I have to go finish off all the donuts! *runs to the kitchen*

"Dude, you know we can just put the ones you didn't eat in the fridge or something, right? You don't have to eat all that sugary crap today."

"Yes I do! They're always better when they're fresh!" *shoves donut in mouth*

"Okay then..."

homestuckbabe:

Dave you never get questions, so what makes a person ironic?

"You see, young grasshopper, the art of irony is some pretty tough shit to master. It takes years of dedicated work and study to truly perfect the proper technique. Irony is a---"

*interrupts* "All you have to do is say you like what you don't like, and don't say what you actually like."

"Gogdamnit Egbert! It's much more complicated than that. Way to fucking mock my art form, dude." *glares and crosses arms*

"Oh come on, Dave. Your irony is stupidly easy to see through." *rolls eyes*

"First of all, fuck you. Secondly, it wasn't even your damn question, Egderp, way to butt in on my answers. And last, but certainly not the fucking least, my irony is like the hardest shit to crack that you will ever encounter."

"Do you honestly think you're fooling anyone?" *quirks eyebrow*

"I pull the wool over everyone's eyes. I own that wool, in fact, I own the whole fucking flock that the sheep who's wool this is comes from."

"Seriously Dave? Rose and I both see through your shit. Terezi too. Karkat can occasionally, and obviously Dirk does since he taught you everything you know about your ironic shit. The people who're left are hardly everyone, wouldn't you agree?" *smirks*