The Ruthless Game

Chapter 35

Chapter 35: "I wanted to call. I wanted to talk to her one last time. Maybe then I could finally let go."

How long have I been sitting inside my car, looking at her veranda? I went hiking with my friends this early morning but instead of going home, here I am, parked outside her condominium bldg, hoping to have a glimpse of her. 

I breathed out harshly, and shut my eyes as I rested my head against the headrest. I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling so pathetic. I swallowed hard, looked at her window one last time, before I drove off and went to GP's house. 

"Hindi pa rin ba kayo nakakapag-usap ni Sandy? Hindi mo ba sinabi sa kanya ang totoo?"

I shook my head. "What for? She's happy now."

He clacked his tongue. "So, hahayaan mo na lang na sa istorya ng buhay niya ikaw yung gagong ex na nanakit at nang iwan sa kanya para sa ibang babae?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Gago naman talaga ako because I hurt her." I swallowed the lump in my throat. I clacked my tongue and wiped the corner of my eyes.

"Oo, nasaktan mo siya pero hindi naman yun lang ang buong story eh. It's just a fraction of it." I remained quiet. "Won't you fight for her?"

I muttered a curse, and wiped the tear that rolled down my cheek. "You know what's more painful than seeing the girl you love happy and in love with another guy?" I reached for my drink and took a gulp. "It's knowing that she has found someone worthy of her."

"You're also worthy of her."

I scoffed. "I'm not. Nasaktan ko siya." I turned to him with a pained smile. "But DJ is. He's the better guy."

I remembered the talk I had with DJ when we were on top of the mountain while the others were busy taking pictures of the scenery. Out of the blue, he told me that Sandy deserves to be loved and cherished, and he was right. 

"So f*cked up," he muttered. "Let's just get wasted, bro."

"Bro, can you still drive?" 

I nodded. "Yes."

"Dylan, pare, sure ka ba? Why don't you just stay the night here?"

"I can still drive."

I got into my car, leaned my head against the headrest, and let out a deep sigh. I drank quite a lot, hoping that it was enough for me to get a good sleep tonight, and not stay up until the wee hours of the morning because the thought of her was so strong. 

But it seemed drinking several glasses of beer wasn't enough to get her off of my mind. I took out my phone and called her. I just had to hear her voice. (Hey, it's you again. So, what song are we gonna play tonight?)

I smiled bitterly as I heard her voice. I always do this every night. It was pathetic but what could I do? It was the only way I could hear her voice and express what I feel deep down through a song. I turned on my car stereo.

I shut my eyes and pictured her face in my head; her charming smile that could brighten up my day, even if it was a bad one a minute before, her hugs that always warmed my heart, and sweet kisses that never failed to send tingles down my spine. 

But I lost all of it. I lost her. 

I touched my chest because it felt like it was wrapped by a tight grip, and was being squeezed so hard that it became difficult for me to breathe. I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back my tears, but how could I when the pain was consuming my whole being.