I Was Never Loved! (Taekook)

Chapter 3

Seated in an another cabin of the restaurant because main cabin was full, Taehyung was bored to death. Watching people talk and chitchat was not interesting at all.

The cabin was almost empty. Hardly three people from his office seated, drinking soju. Taehyung couldn't sleep last night thinking about this day, only to be turned out like this as expected. He only thought how he would spend time with strangers under one roof. He was totally lured into not showing up at the party, after all absence of a single person from the office wouldn't mean much. But he eventually decided to show up rather than sitting alone in the apartment with his TV on.

Taehyung was dressed up in a simple white sweater hugging his lean figure, arms totally drapped in those long sleeves of sweater making cute sweater paws and paired them with black jeans, comfortable enough to sit down for the dinner. The weather was cold outside which helped Taehyung justify his outfit. But now inside in the restaurant, it was a complete different scenario. He was sweating alot as people were rammed up into a small space in the restaurant as if a market place.

The place was undeniably shady mostly because of its lightings. Navy blue lights with few red lights scattered at the corner of the walls were making everything along with his vision, blue and red.

Blue.

That's exactly Taehyung's favourite colour after coming to Seoul because that's what he feels everytime and Everyday. Blue.

Dark walls with insane Greek paintings were hanging on the wall, with a tinge of colour reflecting, making them visible to the ignorant spectators. Actually it was good, because people couldn't see each other's faces. Their bored expression, their struggle to adjust between people, their struggle to be socially acceptable, their struggle to stay sane, everything every emotion was subtly hidden from the people.

The noise was deafening though, people laughing maniacally at worst dad jokes was making the air unbearably suffocating. Atmosphere wasn't doing any good to Taehyung, already regretting coming here. If Truth was to be spoken then actually it would have not been this suffocating if Taehyung would have mingled up with his colleagues. He would have been a part of them rather than making it difficult for him and everyone around him .  He would have been one of the them enjoying the night.

Jungkook was in the main cabin. Cabin with all the female staffs chattering nonsense which Jungkook didn't have a clue of, neither he wanted to know. They didn't leave him when he excused him to meet Taehyung. They dared to stop him, no one up for the formalities as they were pretty drunk.

Actually the party was planned by Jungkook to make Taehyung mingle up with people . Jungkook wasn't blind to not notice people ignoring Taehyung.

He studied him for a week through his glass window, separating him from his employees. Taehyung never spoke a single word to them. Didn't smile at them, he was all by himself. Actually he never saw him smiling. Last time he smiled was when he was leaving his cabin. He was completely astonished.

Sometimes he went out for lunch in the canteen area. Jungkook followed him up only to see him sit alone staring far off at nothing. It was worrying him how a person could be this isolated but he could understand Taehyung as he used to be exactly like him only difference was the reasons for them to be the person they were.

Taehyung caught his interest the moment he looked him straight in his eyes. He was bewildered for that moment. People always found him intimidating, even his mom but not Taehyung.

Even his mom was scared that day when he lashed out at his family. Lashed out for controlling him, controlling his life. Her mom said things she shouldn't have. It hurt him to the core. But why wouldn't she , Jungkook nearly killed a stranger in the alley way because of his frustration.

Jungkook studied Taehyung from far. His eyes screaming loneliness, desperation for companionship, love.

Loneliness, that Jungkook felt all his life . Born in a Rich family is not always a person would look for, afterall money can't buy feelings. Money can't buy emotions. Money can't hold you when you cry your eyes out at night. It's people.

Taehyung resembled him in some ways that's what Jungkook thought. So he decided to know what was wrong with Taehyung. He wanted to help him because there was no one for Jungkook and still there's no one for him, but on humanity grounds he wanted to help Taehyung with his situation.

Jungkook got up and went out of the cabin to smoke. He had this habit of smoking way before he was forced to leave the country and study abroad without his consent. He walked up to the other cabin dropping his cigarette in the bin.

Taking a deep breathe he entered the cabin only to see Taehyung sitting at the far corner of the room. He had an empty glass which no one knows was empty for how many hours. Taehyung stood there picking up on his nails absentmindedly.

Jungkook sighed . He sat beside him. Taehyung still didn't notice someone sitting beside him as if he was in his own world.

" Mr. Kim you should enjoy the night." Jungkook said leaning towards Taehyung, close to his ear.

"With?" Taehyung said harshly as he turned around to face him. He didn't mean to be rude to him but he was getting frustrated minute by minute staring at his finger nails. His anger was getting best of him.

"Me" Jungkook said with a small smile on his face. He knows this frustration. He usually used to vent it out by drinking his ass off in his room and smashing everything around him.

Taehyung stared at him dumbfounded. Both didn't realize that how close they were. They could only see each other as both looked up into each other's eyes.

But a loud obnoxious laugh interrupted their staring contest before it could even start. Taehyung looked down fidgeting with his fingers again. A sign of nervousness.

"It would have been better, if you and I would have come here together rather than calling up the whole army." Jungkook said to a nervous Taehyung, making him look much more dumbfounded.

Before Taehyung could say anything not like he would have really said anything because he was stuck, stuck with his words, stuck with his mind, blinking like a puppy at him and Jungkook continued "Coffee? Tomorrow at the cafe close to our office, after work".

And Jungkook was gone just like that, not even asking for Taehyung's opinion on it. Was it so easy for people or to be more precise for Jungkook to just come and order him? Obviously it was easy for Jungkook. He was his boss after all. What was Taehyung thinking!

                               -x-x-x-x-x-

Oh wow! Another sleepless night ! Another string of worrying thoughts. It's time for Taehyung to call his mom and irritate her because she was the reason behind this false image that she created of him in his mind. Taehyung wasn't a socially acceptable person as she said he was. He is different, he is not perfect.

It is always easy to blame others than to blame ourselves. You skip the part where you have to evaluate yourself. Because evaluating yourself makes you feel imperfect. That you lack something. You don't have to exhaust your mind by telling that it was your fault. It's easy to blame the other one and walk off. No guilt, no pain. Guilt that eats you. Guilt that slowly kills you . Guilt that disgusts you.

Sometimes you don't wish to point out flaws in you. You want to be perfect and be the person who is not at fault for anything. The idea of being perfect in the society is bothering. It's wrong.