I Was Never Loved! (Taekook)

Chapter 25

Only if he knew that Taehyung's childhood wasn't as blissful as he was told by him.

"My Taehyungie suffered a lot, he didn't deserve any of it. He was a naive young boy for God's sake." Taehyung's Grandma had stopped wailing but still had tears of pain and agony.

Jungkook told Taehyung's Grandma about his current situation. It wasn't surprising for Jungkook when Grandma told him that she knew about Taehyung suffering from schizophrenia but she didn't know anything about Taehyung once Taehyung left her.

" He loved her a lot after all she was his mother. She was his shield from his brutal father. Eun-ha made a mistake marrying him when Taehyung was just one year old. She suffered until her death   because of her mistake and  Taehyung is still suffering because of it. I won't forgive her but it also pains me that she regretted everything till the very end."

Jungkook couldn't blame Taehyung's mom for his condition because he knew how much Taehyung loved her. But it was also true that he didn't know the full story for why Taehyung's Grandma thought that it was his mom's fault. Yes she married a wrong person but blaming her for Taehyung's condition was something extreme.

"That drunken bastard tried so many times to abandon Taehyungie at different places when he was just two years old. That kid didn't even know how to walk properly without his mother's support when that bastard left him alone at the busy market. Thankfully a neighbor found him crying outside the convenient store and brought him back...."

Then he kept on abandoning Taehyung, sometimes at alleyway, sometimes at orphanage's door, sometimes on street until he got tired because Eun-ha brought Taehyung home everytime after the first incident. She was alert and followed until her husband went away leaving her son. She confronted him when it happened for the second time, she was angry but upset knowing about her husband and that's where all problems started. He took advantage of her kindness - of her softness. He got abusive.  He used to come home drunk and torture her until he fell asleep tired. He soon got jobless because of his reckless behavior, forcing Eun-ha to work as a  domestic help at houses in the locality. She had to hid her  savings from him to give Taehyung a better future. Her husband lost all of his sanity after loosing his job. The occasional torture turned into a daily  routine. Eun-ha would never let Taehyung out from his room after evening 7 o'clock when her husband would return home drunk. Even if she succeeded most of the time in protecting Taehyung, there were times when his step dad would barge into his room and abuse them both. It was traumatic for Taehyung to see  his mom covered in bruises all over her face, black swollen eyes and sometimes as severe as fractured ribs and limbs. Even when Eun-ha protected him with all her might, the love in Taehyung's mind started to change into anger and hatred as he got old.

"There was no doubt that Eun-ha loved her son but she failed miserably in teaching him what was right and what was wrong. Taehyung used to love her a lot but he confronted me many times when he came here for vacation that how much he loathed her ........"

Even with the abuse, Eun-ha never hated her husband, she never thought of leaving him that's what irked Taehyung the most. She taught Taehyung to accept his father as he was.  She taught him to accept their condition and not hate his father which Taehyung, as he grew old found truly disgusting. Taehyung did as Eun-ha said, he accepted his father, accepted the abuse as if it was his fate, accepted their condition and lived a dreadful life. Before gaining a conscious mind himself, Taehyung never got angry on his father for all the misery he put forth on them, he just accepted it as if all of it were normal stances of life. But the daily torture was taking a toll on Taehyung and he started disliking his father. Even if he hated his father he couldn't bring it in himself  to voice out against all the abuses they suffered because of his mother. He was helpless in front of his personality built by his mother. Anger, hatred, disgust were building up in his mind but they couldn't be vent out as it was, because it eventually came out in form of tears, mere tear drops - a sign of frustrating weakness. It would be easy to say that Eun-ha raised Taehyung to be a coward. Taehyung started to hate his mother for being weak and making him into a weak person too. He hated himself when tears would role down uncontrollably after his dad's abusive episode. He hated his mother more, remembering how she cried for hours but didn't dare speak against her husband. Even if Taehyung wanted to barge into their room when his father assaulted his mother, he couldn't bring it in him to act upon it- that's how much of a coward he was. Only thing that his body could do was - Accept. His body only knew to accept every blow, every abuse, every trauma, every pain, even when his mind would struggle to not accept them. It was  like an inner turmoil between his body and mind, in which always his body won.