I Was Never Loved! (Taekook)

Chapter 21

"So our suspicion was true. He hallucinated it all. Right from  when Jimin left until now he believed Jimin didn't leave him. It's quite too long to experience hallucinations Jungkook. You never found anything suspicious about Taehyung?"

"No..... But.... he used to stay alone. He never socialized, neither on desk nor on lunch. He never took any initiative to talk or to make friends. It wasn't all his fault though, his co-workers too didn't take any interest. So I kept a dinner party for people to mingle up but it failed. I wanted to help him because you know what I went through. I guess that's why we could come together." Jungkook said with a passive expression. He was lost, like it was pitch dark around him and he had to reach to Taehyung because he was waiting for him on the other side.

"So he isolated himself from everyone. It's likely to have depression Jungkook. He might have suffered panic attacks at some point of life if I am not wrong.  You know about them?"

" Yes, but not much. He had a panic attack when he was alone at his flat during his initial days here. Recently, he had it once again when I left him...alone at night after a small argument. Back in Daegu he had his parents, so he didn't mention having a panic attack back then. It's only when he came here, when he was all by himself. After becoming friends we have never been alone. And when we were alone he called me up to spend time with him."

"All these things indicate to only one thing, Jungkook." Jin said with his tone, dead serious.

"I know." Jungkook nodded, gulping hard, it was difficult to accept reality, it was difficult to accept something was wrong with his Taehyung.

"He might be suffering from schizophrenia Jungkook. I still have to perform a few more tests to confirm it. We'll have to confirm it from their parents as well. They must be knowing better than us. Once we are sure about it we can opt for treatment..... Don't worry much Jungkook. It's good that his symptoms have been slowed down after you met him. They are not gone totally but yes, it's a good  thing that it didn't accelerate beyond repair. It could have cost much of him. He has you, so it will go good for both of you, don't worry. You can help him."

Jungkook just nodded, feeling helpless himself. How would he confront Taehyung about this. As Jin said Taehyung has him, what if after confrontation he shuts him down completely. What if he thinks Jungkook is on the other side and not with him. That would really devastate everything and that's the last thing he wanted.

Jungkook was making up his mind. Before giving strength to Taehyung, it was really necessary for him to be strong enough, he has to be strong enough for Taehyung, he has to be strong enough for his love.

"You asked about contacting Taehyung's parents. It's better if I go there and look up for myself. It will be helpful, hopefully."

"Yes....Be strong kook~ah because once Taehyung gets to know about this, we really can't predict his reaction. Get ready for the worst but be hopeful for the best.  Once he acknowledges, it would get tough for him and for you too. Take care."

Toughest part was to make Taehyung understand. People with schizophrenia have hard time to believe that they have some issues with them. Usually they get enraged when someone tell them that they are not normal because for them there's nothing wrong going on with them.

Seeing Taehyung unaware of his illness breaks his heart. The smile that he has it now would not last when he'll know about it. Probably this would be the last time to see him smile. This might be the last time to cherish happy moments with Taehyung.

Jungkook wanted to skip days, months and years to just live that one fateful day when everything would be alright. He didn't want to think about the struggle that they would have to go through, that Taehyung have to go through. According to Jin, Jungkook could help Taehyung get better, because till this date their relationship has proved to be very helpful for Taehyung, he only wishes that Jin is right and he can truly make it better for Taehyung - make it better for his love.