I Was Never Loved! (Taekook)

Chapter 13

" Kookie you called him? You got any solution for it ? What did he tell you? Did it work out?" Taehyung got up from his bed as soon as he heard the front door open. He was still stressing about Jimin, adding fuel to the fire burning inside Jungkook.

Jungkook just stood by the door, actually  already expecting Taehyung to bombard questions about Jimin. He just closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down and not lash out at him this instant.

"Kookie, tell me. Why are you standing there? Did it work? Tell me at least, so that I can do something, if not. Kook I have to search for part-time if your idea didn't help I'll do something.... Just say.."

"STOP IT" Jungkook yelled, not sorry for the way Taehyung flinched by his sudden outburst. Taehyung stayed near to his bed, eyes wide open. He never witnessed an angry Jungkook before. He wasn't expecting an angry Jungkook at that moment but a tired Jungkook.

"You want to help that bastard. Are you really that dumb Taehyung or you were born with it?" Jungkook walked towards Taehyung, eyes accusing him with reason unknown to Taehyung.

" That asshole is drinking his ass off there and telling you to pay for his expenses. He is using you for his own will, he doesn't give a fuck about you or your life and look at you here. He is not your friend for God's sake Taehyung. He is clearly ordering you sitting there and you being this desperate to become a good friend, helping that pathetic ass of his." Jungkook yelled at his face, piercing the thin air around them. Rage taking over him, he looked into Taehyung's eyes with his fierceful gaze.

"Are you sure he is only your best friend and nothing more?" Jungkook said lowly , every word dipped in accusation and that was where he went wrong. Completely off the lane.

Taehyung was stunned by his words. He didn't expect Jungkook to ever accuse him of such a nasty thing but he didn't dare to speak anything, eyes blew wide open if it was even possible.

"With all those sweet talks, its hard to say if he thinks you only as your friend. He kept on asking you for your obscene pictures and you sent them. You let him flirt with you and kept on laughing at his ridiculous remarks. Do you think I'm fool Tae. Do you think I can't see it. Are you that dense  or you enjoying it? You really want more from him, don't you? You want more than being a friend may be friends with...." Even if Jungkook didn't mean any of it, the rage in his nerves took over him and he couldn't stop now. Suddenly a piercing sound boomed across the room. Jungkook touched his cheeks were Taehyung just slapped him, shocked himself.

"I don't want anything from him. I don't want anything from you. If you don't want to help, just don't. Don't speak disgustingly about our friendship."
Tears brimming his eyes but he wanted to stay stable to put his point across but failing miserably.

" I know he flirts a lot and I don't mind because I know him. He always teases about it. He doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything to me but your words mean world to me Jungkook. You mean world to me.  Can't you see your words, your accusations are hurting me, here.... Right here." He jutted a pointed finger to Jungkook's heart, lips quivering from emotions.

"And what about me? Am I not hurting Tae? Am I not hurting seeing him so confident about you prioritizing him over me. Seeing you being so ready to sweat for him to pay his damn expenses. It's clear he is a jerk, he is using you. Why can't you see?  or you don't wish to? You are still justifying him in front of me when you know he is an irresponsible person. You believe him more than you believe me." Jungkook can't cry in front of him now. Not today. But the pain was only getting unbearable. He couldn't vent out his emotions. The pain, the lump in his throat aching making it hard to be in the room.

"I don't know what position I hold in your life Tae but for me you would always be at the top. I Know you have people to hold on to and I don't. For me it's only you. Even if you don't believe me, I believe you. I believe that you love me. And I want to keep believing it even if I look like a fool at the end of the day." Taking a deep breathe and wiping his tears harshly he stepped back.

"Good luck Mr. Kim. Be a good friend and help him." And he stormed out of the room leaving Taehyung in his own storm.

It all weighs upon Taehyung. He couldn't feel his legs and dropped his knees on the floor. Of course Jungkook held importance to him. If he loved someone dearly after his mom, it would only be Jungkook. The stabbing pain that he was feeling wouldn't have felt if Jungkook was not important to him.

Mr. Kim

He always called him by that name when they didn't know much about each other. He shouldn't have slapped him because he knew that Jungkook didn't mean any of his words. He didn't mean to hurt him. All the insecurities that Jungkook had, he made it even more worse to him.

He should have refrained Jimin strictly when he first started flirting. But Jimin always teased him for getting worked up so he didn't objection it later. It was all for humour, he used to say. Jimin wasn't like this back in his hometown. He just became more carefree (careless) when Taehyung left. Taehyung wanted to help him because he felt he was at fault,  he was the one selfish to leave him alone.

But now what about Jungkook? How can Taehyung explain him, make him understand that he is important to him. Important than Jimin, hell even important than his mom. How can Taehyung tell him that it's hurting him too . It's hurting to see Jungkook in pain. Pain that he is the reason behind because of his carelessness. It's all just because of him, his incapability of handling the situation. He could have listened to him. Tried to clear all the misunderstandings between them. Tried to understand his side because that's what he would have expected from Jungkook if the roles were reversed.

But how can he confront him now that he is gone. Jungkook left him alone when he never ever did that. At least not after being in the relationship. He never spent nights alone. Jungkook would always spoon him, cuddle him until he was asleep. His warm breathe on his nape was like an assurance that he is not alone. Arms around his waist, knees positioned at the back of his folded knees, every inch of the body in contact, he was used to these type of nights. He didn't want to close his eyes because he can't fall asleep without Jungkook by his side. It's impossible to sleep without his presence, without his scent assuring him security.

So Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's shirt he wore this morning and sat down by the bed, crouching down to make him small. Small so that the scent he has between his palms could not dissipate in the air.  The Scent has to stay with him, Jungkook has to stay with him. He just closed his eyes thinking his kookie's cheeks are between his two palms and hoping Jungkook forgives him for his mistakes.

Even if you are angry with me
Come back soon;
Come back to me
Because this heart calls for you
Because this heart doesn't know
To live without you
Because Taehyung doesn't know
To live without you
So come back soon