Unshed Tears

Kabanata10- Deal

Dahan dahan kong minulat ang aking mata. Ang puting silid ang bumungad sakin. Pinapahiwatig na nasa isang hospital ako. I wonder what happened? The last time I remembered, sasagasaan na dapat ako bago ako nahimatay! Care to explain me why I'm still alive?

" She's in trauma," I wasn't shocked to hear that from the Doctor. Alam ko.
Considering that I've been jailed and abused for almost two years, may history rin ako ng trauma. Isa ring bagay na itinago ko sa lahat.

" Why? I mean, bakit sya nagkaroon ng trauma? " I heard Del Fuego's voice. Kaharap nya ang syang Doctor.
The Doctor shrugged. Of course! Hindi nga alam ng pamilya ko ang tungkol dito, sya pa kaya? Now I remember our family doctor na syang may alam ng lahat. I'm glad he didn't even tell my dad about this.

"Doc. Del Fuego, hindi ko rin alam. All I can say is that she's depressed, kanina lang ay nagsisigaw sya. It seems like she was abused and has traumatic experience." Kinabahan ako sa narinig ko. Fvck, hindi nila kailangang malaman! Hindi pwede.

" Abused? I have no idea about that. She was acting normal since I've known her. Hindi halatang may pinagdadaanan sya, " I heard Del Fuego said. Napamaang ako. I need to show them that I'm awake now! I slowly moved, causing them to look abruptly at me. Ang nag-aalalang mukha ni Del Fuego ang bumungad sakin. He's worried? Nah, Gel. Stop assuming. He's just worried if something happened to me just like when I got drown, dahil nga kargo konsensya nya ako. Not for some impossible reasons you're hoping.

"Are you okay?" agad nya akong dinaluhan. Hindi pala ako nasagasaan, I just got fainted. A part of me hopes na sana natuluyan na lang ako, but I'm still happy na nabuhay pa ako. Tha pain I used to experience is classic. Darating din ang araw na sasaya ako. Maybe not now, but it will happen in no time.

I just nodded at him to assure that I'm fine. Tila pa hindi sya kumbinsido. Tinitigan ko ang mukha nya, parang may gusto syang sabihin at kumpirmahin base sa kanyang tingin. Suddenly, I remember our last conversation, kaya agad ko namang iniwas ang aking tingin. I definitely know that he's going to ask about what they've talked about awhile ago.

" How long did I sleep?" agaran kong tanong.

He left out a heavy sigh before he answered me.

"12 hours." maikli nyang sagot at naupo sa gilid ko. He's not in his usual get up. I was a bit shaken seeing him in his professional outfit. He's wearing a black v-neck shirt and a faded maong pants covered by his lab gown. I got confused. Is this his building?

" Is this the hospital you owned?" hindi ko maiwasang tanong.

He slowly nodded, confirming me that he really is unreachable though I knew it already. Tumahimik naman ako, I don't want to talk.

" I have something to ask." basag nya sa pananahimik ko. My heartbeat raised. Parang alam ko na kung ano ang itatanong nya.

" Yeah? What is it?" I asked nervously but I sound brave.

He looked at me suspiciously. Nang-aakusa ang paraan ng kanyang paninitig.

"Doc. Mendez told me that you're experiencing trauma. Can you tell me the reason behind it?" Saad nya. Hindi ako makapagsalita kaagad. I really don't want to talk about it.

"I'm not in trauma. Wala lang yun. Whatever you heard, it's purely nothing." iwas ko na mukhang hindi nya naman pinaniwalaan.
Nakakainis sya. He doesn't want me to meddle with his life pero ang pinakapribadong parte ng buhay ko, gusto nyang ungkatin?

" You sure? You can tell me, whatever it is. " he assured but I can't trust him enough about this. Siguro, sa tamang panahon, magagawa ko ring masabi ang lahat but I don't think I'm ready yet.