Unshed Tears

Kabanata11- talk about love

One of the most amazing feelings in the world is having someone fall in love with you which you thought that you never had a chance with.
Hmmm, love? Is that even true? Is that even eternal?
I just remember my experiences with boys. " I love you," those words slip from their mouths like lava, sounds true and realistic but it's just a way to assure you that they're not done with you yet. Hindi ako naniniwala sa salitang yan, sa panahon ngayon kase, hindi na espesyal ang mga salitang yan, para bang nakasanayan nalang ng mga taong nasa isang relasyon na sabihin pero wala naman talaga.
I sound bitter but it's the truth. Napakadaling sabihin ng mga bagay na yan. Sometimes, we say I love you not because we mean it but because we are obliged to. Been there, done that. Slowly I realized that maybe this world is full of pretensions. Making their selves believe that everything is real even if its not. Walang happy ending. There are times I get mad on fairytales. Bakit nila pinapaasa ang mga tao na may pag-ibig na walang hanggan? Nakakainis dahil tanga ang tao, naniniwala agad kahit hindi naman totoo.

"What are you thinking?" nagulat ako sa pambungad ni Del Fuego. Kanina pa pala ako nag-iisip. Hindi ko man lang namalayan.

"I was just thinking about something, wag mo ng alalahanin yun," iniwas ko kaagad ang tingin.

" So, payag ka na?" Actually, I don't know what to answer. He wants to marry me and to carry his child. Bakit nya naman gustong magkaanak, hmmm?

" Before I answer you, I want to ask you something. Bakit mo gustong magkaanak? Bata ka pa naman, you will finally meet the right girl you think who deserves a man like you," saad ko.

" Bakit hindi mo sinabing matatagpuan ko rin ang babaeng mamahalin ako? you only said I will find the right girl who deserves me, nakakapangduda" aniya, hindi inaalis ang tingin sa daan.

" Simply because nothing last forever, Del Fuego. Love is something that will fade as time goes by," agap ko na ikinagulat nya.

" You don't believe in love?"

I nodded. " Would you rather believe in love which is not true than to prove yourself it is,?" wika ko.

" I believe in love, It's the people's feeling I don't believe, " he shrugged. May point sya, anyway.

"It's your point of view, then so be it" tanging sabi ko, closing the gap between us.

" You sound bitter, hmm. So, payag ka na nga?" aniya. Papayag ba ako? This is risky!

" How can we marry without love?" agap ko. He raised his brows, telling me he can't believe what I've just said.

" We will marry not because of love, but because of some purposes. Let's just say, no feelings attached." his low baritone voice crept my insides.

" Is that even possible? What if they would ask? anong isasagot natin?" I asked hysterically.

"It seems like you agreed already. Well, if they're going to ask, I'll be the one to answer them, don't stress yourself too much."

I sighed heavily, ano ba itong pinasok ko? I am not yet convinced about this! Risky because I'm practical! What if we won't work out? And besides, I like him. Pano kong ma attached ako sa kanya and he has no plans on returning the favor? Hahayaan ko ba ang sariling mahulog sa bitag na ako ang gumawa?

"You knew I like you, so bakit ako susugal?" Here I am, confessing again. tss.

"Well, this relationship may lead to both good or bad opportunities. If I ended up liking you, then we'll work this out." aniya

" Sabi mo no feelings attached?" hindi ko mapigilang tanong.

"Kakasabi mo lang na gusto mo ako, so instead of that rule, what if I try to like you? Mas mabuti pang gawin mo ang lahat para magustuhan kita,"