Unshed Tears

Kabanata27- Let go

"Will you let go of me?!" I tried  hard to escape from his hug but I didn't succeed. He's too strong to even let me breath!

"Bakit hindi ka nagpaalam sakin na aalis ka?" he asked out of a sudden, hugging me tightly. Pinilit kong makawala ngunit hindi nya 'yon hinayaan. Hinayaan ko nalang sya. I'm so tired of his shits, bakit ba kase sya nagpunta pa dito? I want him gone! I still don't want to see his face!

I'm just starting to forget him and move on with my life tapos isang araw palang, narito na sya! He's so cruel to show me pretences. I don't need his pretensions. I'm tired of it. I'm so sick of it.

" You were asleep. And besides, I knew you doesn't care kaya bakit pa?" malamyos ang boses ko.

He growled. As he started to plant kisses on my shoulders causing me to tingle with feeling. Hindi pa ako nakakapagbihis! I'm still wearing the dress I wore in the meeting.

Iniwas ko ang sarili sa kanya. Takot na mas mahulog pa. Maybe I should distance myself not only physically but also emotionally para naman hindi na masyadong masakit kapag naghiwalay na kami, right?

"I need to change clothes. Bitawan mo muna ako." I sounded so cracky. I don't know if it's the effect of my unwell feeling. Masama talaga ang pakiramdam ko the past days. I don't know.

But before I could stand, he immediately pinned me in the bed, with him above me! I started to panic but I know I can't escape from him, just like the old times sake.

"You look so pale and thin. Are you sick?" he asked with pure concern. Or is it really pure? Nah, I object. Knowing this man and the things he did to me, impossibleng totoo na naman ang mga ito.

Umiling ako at tinulak sya. Mabuti naman at nagtagumpay ako sa pagtulak kaya malaya akong nakatayo at dire diretsong pumasok sa walk in closet ng kwarto. Saka ko lang napagtanto na maayos na nakahanger ang mga damit ko dito.

I choosed to just wear an oversized white t-shirt and a maong short shorts. This kind of dressing makes me comfortable. I like the warmth of the shirt in my skin. Parang ang sarap matulog at wag ng magising.

After changing my clothes, lumabas agad ako not even looking at my husband. Laking gulat ko ng makita syang topless at tanging boxer shorts lang ang suot! He's half naked body is covered by a blanket. He's like a Greek God from the Mount Olympus! His perfect body was jaw-dropping. It's not the first time that I saw his perfect body which can be compared to the sculpted bold image painted by MichaelAngelo.

And the fvck he's staring at me with a hint of desire! Natatakot na tuloy akong lumapit at humiga sa tabi nya. Marupok pa naman ako kaya hindi ko maipapangakong walang mangyayari ngayong gabi! Not that I wished something will happen between us, but with that kind of glorious body, I can't even think straight and I can't promise!

"Why don't you come here and join me to bed?" Ewan ko ba kung hindi ako nananaginip pero bakit parang iba ang dating ng boses nya sa'kin?

He's using his bedroom voice! Husky and low baritone that will probably seduce all the women in his circle. And I'm sure they're going to beg and kneel in between his tighs! Yuck, erotic and laud.

Inirapan ko sya saka ako padabog na humiga sa kama. Pretending to be outspoken and voiceless just to refrain myself from staring at his perfection. Oh come on, Angel. Don't be tempted by that son of a bitch. He used you, remember?

I almost gasped when I felt his firm arms on my small waist. Damn him!
Wag nya kakong simulan ang mga galawan at baka magpaubaya ako!

It's really hard to ignore the person  you love. Especially if you've fallen so much and you can't even stand again from drowning.