Seaweed and Wise - Never letting go

Stutter out

So guys, this chapter will talk about panic/anxiety attacks, the process and symptoms..? If you've ever experienced those, your experience could be similar or completely different, take that into consideration along with the fact that it may be hard to describe and understand from both sides!

This will be lighter compared to the real thing... I don't think anyone really needs to read about this being too descriptive but at the same time we can't pretend we're all just a bunch of unicorns.

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Disclaimer: I'm not drowning in depression (not always)... There's good days and amazing days as well as those that I'd rather leave in the past... I'm okay Now compared to my younger self! I have an amazing support system in my family and I learned to work with what I had. My thing is more of shorter episodes of panic attacks caused by various triggers that I tend to avoid if I can because it doesn't impact my life as strongly to do so. But we're people and we can't stay locked in our rooms so yeah, even words do the thing... but we gotta learn to be strong for ourselves and our loved ones!

Those words Percy is saying over and over again are something like a mantra that's used to try and stop the feeling of anxiousness and fear..? I'm not saying it does wonders but even something so simple as this can help you while going down the rabbit hole. For me it's a specific order of a few words that mean something to me and that remind me of something good, familiar, even of the fear I kinda got over. You have to remember the right order and reason behind those words... Kinda like Amy Pond's password.

So there we go with me being awfully honest and you probably wanting nothing less than a new percabeth story! XD

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Moonlace, blue, twelve, the fall. Moonlace, blue- twelve... The fall...

Percy slid to the floor slowly, wanting to call, to shout for someone to come, to breathe. But the pain in his chest rose like bile through ones throat. Tears surged but his vision blackened from the edges as a Looney tunes cartoon closing on Porky in the end. He pulled his knees to his chest, trying to find comfort in his own embrace.
Moonlace, blue, twelve, the fall- he should chant those words to figure a way out, yet his brain cells couldn't cope for the fog that clouded his mind.
"Ann-" he breathed hard. "A-" he tried but the searing pain took him out.

When he'd first had a panic attack, he had thought that his heart gave out, that it was a heart attack he was having. Now he long knew.
There was nothing like the good old taste of your own body giving out. Of your organs switching to crisis mode while your brain burried rationality and stability so there was space for panic and fear.
He tried to think of what it was that triggered him this time but only another wave of nausea came.
Breathe.
He forgot to.
Thoughts and pictures were swirling through his head. Images that were once true, moments he lost himself to the darkness so deep Annabeth feared him.
How does one-
And suddenly Greer came and licked Percy's face, she burried her nose in the crook of his neck and stood her ground to stay. Stay until he'd get better.
The dog knew, and then Percy wasn't alone anymore. He hugged her closer and ran his fingers through the soft coat that he had to brush every day. This was his dog. His name was Perseus Jackson. He used to be labeled as a troubled kid.
If only everyone knew...
But Greer gave him one of those cold nose kisses and the wall cracked just slightly enough to allow his lungs to fill up properly.
He had a moonlace flower on his window that glowed through the darkness, it was a gift from his friend.
He had a loving mother who made sure every food was blue just to please her little boy.
He had Annabeth, he met her when he was twelve years old, she was the daughter of Athena. His wise girl. Cabin 12 used to be her home, Camp Half-Blood was where they met.
He fell to the pit of Tartarus, but he also tripped into a pond yesterday and made his friends laugh as he had to get wet in front of the mortals, just to give the impression of everything being normal.
Normal...
Percy hugged the dog closer and his body relaxed as she lay on him. A mass of love and compassion. He scratched her ears and wiped his face on his arm before diving back in.
He let the floods run, the smell of Greer bringing his head back home.
Percy felt he dog look up and just there was Annabeth hurrying to him, saying words he didn't quite hear but knew meant something good and incredibly kind.
But his ears were still ringing, though slightly lesser now.

Annabeth was grateful that they had the dog to simply help until someone came. Greer's kinda love gave you everything and more, it was pure.
"Percy!" Annabeth dropped to him on the floor. "It's okay, Percy, I'm here... Come on, we'll do this together." She said calmly.
Percy nodded slightly.
"Good..." Annabeth kissed his forehead. "Now shake your head a yes if you wanna breathe it out here or a no if I should take you somewhere... The pool, shower, anything..." She said, searching for a sign of him getting better.
Greer lay by Percy's feet then, to let him know she was still there.
"Water would be nice." Percy said after a few moments.
Annabeth breathed out finally, relieved, not realizing she was holding the air in. "I'll just help you then- yup- here we go..."
She supported him with an arm around his body, thankful for how close in height they were. And even though Percy couldn't like a thing less than Annabeth straining to almost drag him into the bathtub, he soaked in the perfect feeling of her body pressed to his.
Finally they made it, both fully clothed and breathing hard as Annabeth settled in the smaller amount of space that was left on the tub floor. She started the warm water and took his hands.
"Is this good?" She asked, all focus on him.
"You're getting wet..." He started. "I- sorry."
Annabeth smiled, the smile that only ever belonged to him. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, what's a little bit of a panic attack and some wet clothes. Those things are temporary... But I love you Percy, and that's not something that'll pass at all. So take your time and talk whenever you're ready... Or don't and we can go watch a movie you like and call your mom to keep the kids for one more day... Or I can-"
Percy went in for a hug, adjusting them carefully and resulting in Annabeth laying-ish on him, looking up to his face, so the water was now covering them as a blanket.
"Thanks-" Percy smiled.

Neither of them were skilled psychologists or trauma advisors but they were enough for each other...
And so that was the time they camped out in the bathtub for nearly an hour, clothes sticking to their skin before they gave up and took off the layers that weighted them down...
They talked... About everything they possibly could after so many years of adventuring together.
Later they came out and dried in their bathroabs... snuggled in front of the TV, watching Netflix... and continued their lives as if nothing happened. Yet they didn't really wander out of each other's sight nor cared about the random messes that appeared here and there...
Because life was never about how good you did every day, or how much you've accomplished... It's always been about loving and feeling loved, caring for those that'd breathe for you in the blink of an eye... no matter the downs you shared or the times you thought you let them down.
No, this was exactly it too.