𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽𝚂 ║Izuku ✘ Reader

41. | Beautiful mind

Izuku looks at his pale hands, eyes seemingly trailing to the old bandages that he hasn't taken off. He couldn't do it earlier, it's too painful to look at those scars. They bring back too many awful memories.

His mind is still horrified and the boy hadn't been able to take some time to actually register what happened at school earlier. His emerald orbs meet his own reflection in the mirror, his nose crunches. He looks tired, drained.

What he saw in the bathroom is haunting his very soul and he can't say anything. Nobody is going to believe that an imaginary version of himself is trying to make him commit suicide. Everything just sounds plainly mad. But most importantly, why is the boy with the yellow cardigan back? Has Izuku been that triggered by Fuji?....is he that weak to crumble immediately when someone makes a mean comment?

Izuku closes his eyes, a slow breath escaping his mouth. He tries not to think about it, maybe it is a one-time thing? It won't happen again if Izuku can just control his emotions.
But when was that ever easy?

The curly haired boy opens his eyes again, something heavy inside his chest. He brings up a hand to his face to wipe away the fresh tears.

'Control it....don't let it take over you, it's going to be fine' He tries to reassure himself. Nobody is ever going to believe him. He has to fix himself.

The boy swallows down hardly, placing his right hand over his other. His fingers graze the bandage, slowly inching it off. Izuku's heart throbs, he doesn't want to see his scars. The pain he once inflicted on himself.

The bleeding has stopped long ago, but yet Izuku is terrified to see blood. Seeing blood ooze out of him as he thought he took his last breaths...that memory is still so fresh. There is so much he hasn't been able to talk to Y/n about. Every time something occurred, so much drama happened that Izuku never got to actually talk about why he did what he did. People just assumed the reasons.

His reasons.

Izuku winches in reflex once the bandage is full of his munch skin. He eyes, still holding fear looks down and sees light scars. But it isn't so bad as he initially thought. The doctors had put on a scar cream before rapping him up and that has done wonders to his thin skin.

His nose sniffles, relieved to finally see his skin. Freeing himself from a burden. If he wants to get better, for all the people that have supported him, he needs to fight these battles. The boy with the yellow cardigan can't win.

He surely takes off his other bandage and to his surprise, his arms feel much lighter. A little bit colder, but much more comfortable. And his scars aren't bothering him as much as he thought they would.

Izuku gazes around the bathroom with glassy eyes, nervous to see if he has returned. But no, there isn't anyone here. Izuku smiles in content, maybe he can beat this on his own. Step by step.

'I promised Y/n and Kacchan that I wouldn't hurt myself again...I have to do everything I can to make that a reality'

The boy quickly washes his face and splashes some water on his arms, with the intent to clean some dead skin. Izuku finishes up and walks out of the bathroom. The clock is currently 10:30 pm and Bakugou has already gone to sleep in his own room. Izuku passes Y/n's room and hears the female talking on her phone, laughing and giggling. Izuku assumes it's the heterochromatic boy she is talking too and his heart throbs a little.

They are so close, more than he can ever be with Y/n. It pains him in a way, but he quickly slaps his freckled face with his hands and sprints back to his room. Quietly closing the door and plumbers down on his soft bed.