I Am Trouble

39~ Eyes

"Go back upstairs, Blair." Zach immediately scolded me once I stepped off of the last step.

I glared at him,

"I am sick of that room."

"We've been here for two days, how are you sick of it already?" Lola asked, coming around the corner.

I shrugged as Zach repeated himself,

"Upstairs."

I groaned as my legs spun me around and walked me back up the many stairs into the room that I've been in for the past two days.

Two days!

I had to stay in the hospital for two days, then I was free to go. But Marla, Lola, Courtney, Peter, Zach and Asher weren't planning on taking us back to the cabins. They had packed up all of our stuff while me and Atticus were in the hospital.

So, now we're in Indiana. Not too far from Ohio or Michigan, actually.

Still in forest land, yes. But I'm pretty sure we're even more off the grid than before.

And, this time we're all in one building. A big cottage-like building. The guys have the basement rooms and the girls get the rooms upstairs. Then there's the main level, where we all hang out during the day.

Once I had entered Charlie and I's room, I collapsed onto the bed.

What the hell am I supposed to do if no one will let me out? I've been resting, sleeping-a lot of sleeping, actually. Why can't I just leave this god damn room? I'm so tired of it.

I wanna break something.

I wanna like, beat something up.

Ha, I'm funny. They won't even let me out of this room, but to leave and fight something? No way.

But, there is ways I can sneak out...

Nope. Not happening. No matter how badly I want out, they're still right. I am in no condition to go out and about.

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. The plain, white ceiling. That was until there was three quick knocks on the door-then it opened up to reveal Kade,

"Hey, you got a second?"

"I've got all the time in the world, as of right now." I answered.

He nodded and walked in-closing the door behind him,

"I wanna talk."

I nodded, asking him to continue.

He sat down at the end of my bed,

"I thought you were going to die... Blair."

I looked at him,

"I didn't."

He sighed,

"That's not the point. You could've."

I shrugged,

"Everyday, we have a chance of dying. Anyone could take our lives at any second. It's life, Kade."

He looked at me,

"Is that how you really see life? A fifty, fifty chance of living and dying?"

"Yeah. It's true." I stated.

He chuckled, shook his head and sighed,

"You live in the moment. You take every chance you get to do something stupid because you think 'hell with it, I could die any minute'."

"That's exactly how I think." I told him in all honesty.

"Y'know, I should be the one to keep you from doing dumb things. To keep you alive, but how am I supposed to do that when you take risks on the daily?" He asked me.

"We take risks by waking up in the morning." I said, looking directly at his eyes.

I could see his jaw clench,

"You just have a smartass comment to everything, don't ya?"

"Guess so." I answered, keeping our eyes locked.

He shook his head,

"I can't love someone like you."

Everything around me kind of stopped,

"What's someone like me?"

He sighed,

"You'll understand eventually..."

"No, no I won't. If you won't tell me, I'll never know." I retorted.

"I don't wanna date anymore. I don't want our friendship to fall apart, but our relationship is over." He stated.

It hurt. That hurt. But I hid it,

"Then get out."

His eyes showed hurt for a very brief moment, until they went to anger,

"Alright."

He quickly stood up and stormed out of the room, practically redoing what he had done when he first came in-except with force and anger.

Isn't it 'what's on the inside counts?' Well. The inside of me obviously wasn't enough to keep Kade here. Who else will I be able to push away?

~~~

"Blair? You want some food?" A female voice called from the doorway-waking me up.

I groaned,

"No."

"You need to eat something." The same voice stated.

"I don't care, not hungry." I retorted, continuing to stay in my very comfortable position.

"Come on, come get food. I'll send Zach up." She threatened.

I groaned one again. Zach is one hundred percent the dad of our group. Lola is more the mom of the group,

"Fine."

I stood up out of the warm covers, and lazily walked to the open doorway where Lola stood.

"Come on kid, Asher went and picked pizza up." She told me, guiding me out of the door way.

"But I don't feel like pizza." I complained.

She glared at me,

"Then eat something else."

I mumbled a few unnecessary things under my breath as I walked down the stairs. Not because of Lola, but the pain that it caused in my abdomen.

She didn't hear me, of course. But I eventually made my way to the bottom and turned towards the kitchen.

The dining room was the opposite way, so no one saw me quite yet.

"Wanna come eat with everyone?" Lola asked, following me into the kitten and over to the stove here the pizzas sat.

I shook my head,

"No, I'd rather head back upstairs."

"Alright," she started,

"What are you binge watching on Netflix?"

I chuckled,

"I've mostly been sleeping. But I'm probably gonna watch Riverdale or somethin'."

She nodded,

"Alright."

I grabbed two slices of cheese pizza, just as Lola left the room. Then I headed back the way I just came.

If I starve, I'll die. If I die, I'll be in peace. If I'm in peace, I'll be happy. If I'm happy, I won't bother anyone.

Just let me starve.

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Like I've mentioned before. Since the first book was based in 2017-18, this book would basically be based in like the 2050s. But I'm going along as if it was 2019 just to make it easier bc I can't see the future. :)