No Good For You

five

Billie Pirate Eilish Baird O'Connell
Saturday, December 1st, 2018

Running my fingers through my hair I blow a sharp breath out and stretch to try to get rid of the tension in my back. I tap my pen against my lip thinking of the next thing I want to write. Whenever I seem to force a song, it never goes right. Even if I go with my feelings or a specific scenario it takes me a few tries to get a semi decent song. That's why Finneas does all the writing while I do the singing.

These last few days I've been traveling and doing interviews while recording and revising songs for the album. I love traveling in the beginning but it slowly becomes tiring. Half way through I want to just go home and spend time with my friends. But I do all this for my supporters, my babies. Those babies make me so happy, they're so creative and so inspiring. They make all the stress and emotional exhaustion rewarding.

If it wasn't for them there would be none of this. I try to remember that when I feel myself spiraling out of control. That's the main reason why my family is always with me, they keep me grounded. I've had so many moments where things could've gone wrong but I would talk to Finneas or my parents and a weight would be lifted off my shoulders.

A knock on my door breaks my thoughts and I look up seeing my dad poke his head in. "You alright kiddo?"

"Yeah I'm good."

"Alright, well me and your mother are heading out for a little. Finn should be back soon." I nod and he shuts the door. Shortly after I hear the front door close. I push my book to the side and take a deep breath. I guess I'll come back to that later. I pull out my phone and decide to go on Instagram live to give myself something to do.

"Wassup babies." I see thousands of people quickly roll in with their comments about music, how much they love me or how good I look. "Y'all good?" I lean back on my chair and stretch my arms out. My back is tense from leaning against my headboard for the last two hours.

"My back is tight as fuck. Bro I was leaning on the fucking wall for two hours! Two!" I vent adding emphasis on the word two. I read the comments and laugh lightly.

"You should get that checked out." I read the comments out loud and shake my head no. "I said I was leaning against the wall.. It isn't life or death guys." My fans can be dramatic at times but I know they mean well. That's what makes me love them so much, they'll go to the end of the earth for me and are always so concerned.

"That's why I told your ass to do yoga with me." I smile reading Sada's comment. "I'm not doing yoga Sada. I'll watch you do it." I see my fans send eye emojis and ask me who she is. "Actually I do fucking stretch you bozo." I do stretch here and there but not everyday like she told me to. She's always sends me tons of videos of beginner yoga and even her doing some of her favorite poses. I never did them but I like to watch.

"Y'all, I stretch. She just tells me to do it everyday and I don't have time for tha-. Crooks shut the fuck up." I laugh loudly at his comment saying 'let me watch you stretch too Sada.'

"What's good Tori?" Since I've been talking to Sada everyday I've gotten a chance to talk to her friends whenever they're around. I like Tori, she seems to keep the peace in their group. Kevin is fucking hilarious and Nya is cool, she doesn't hold her tongue for shit. They mostly ask me about music and my career but that's expected.

"Sing please. Mm.. no I'm good. 'Crooks tryna get Sada.' Crooks can't handle Sada." I chuckle and make a 'you know why' face. " I see Sada's friend Kevin send the eyes emoji and I shake my head.

After about an hour of being on live my mom sends me text message telling me to get off live.

"I'm pregnant. So, yeah." I end the live with a loud laugh. I get up and go out into the living room to go see what my mom wants.