No Good For You

thirty three

Sada
April 20th

I laid next to my mother as she scratched my scalp. We were piled in her room, watching one of her favorite movies, State Propery 2. I needed this day inside because secretly, I'm recovering from a killer hangover.

I went out last night because I'd been cooped up at home all month, doing homework. I've been busting my ass trying to get my grades back up before graduation and I have no clue how this is going to turn out. I've completely isolated myself and I haven't been on social media in weeks. But this time, I've isolated myself for good and I still keep in contact with everyone.

I even keep in contact with Maggie. She's the highlight of my days and always sends me inspirational messages. One thing she hasn't done is pushed the topic of her daughter onto me, we don't even talk about her when we speak. She mostly keeps me updated on the preparations for tour, Finneas and Patrick. She understands that it's a sensitive topic for me and I'd rather act oblivious to it.

Thankfully my friends haven't mentioned her either and I'm grateful for that. I still think about her daily and feel a twinge if sadness when I do but that's all a part of it. I often dream about her and it may make me sad but instead of fixating on that sadness, I appreciate the feeling and move on.

As far as moving on dating wise, I haven't had any desire to do so. I have been texting Adria but Im honestly just enjoying the time I spend with her. I am undeniably attracted to her but I'm not rushing anything until Im 100% ready for anything. I'm mostly focusing on my wellbeing and getting to graduation.

"Ima go get a snack." I say climbing over my mom and sister to get off the bed.

"Get me some ice cream." My mom says, not taking her eyes off the tv.

"Want something Maddy?"

"Chips."

"Ice cream and chips, coming right up." I walk down the stairs and slide into the kitchen. I grab the barbecue kettle chips for Maddy, oreos for me and my moms big ass container of Cookies and Cream ice cream, vegan of course. I grab 3 spoons and grab everything successfully.

"I got three spoons so we could share." I walk into the room, laughing to myself at their eyes glued to the tv like they hadn't seen this before.

"Why y'all always want some of my stuff?" My mom groans selfishly and I laugh.

"Because it's good Mama now share." I demand as I hand out the snacks.

"You should've brought a bowl so I could crush the oreos in there."

"Go get a bowl for mama Maddy." I nudge her and she nudges me back.

"You get it. I'm comfy." She whines and I kick her before getting up to get the bowl. I quickly run to the kitchen to get a bowl and run back to hop on the bed.

"Come on now Sada." My mom pushes me out of the way and I whine, getting in my designated spot beside her.

"Mama be nice." I whine and she ignores me to open her ice cream. I open the package if oreos and take two out to eat. I should've got something to drink.

"Let me have some Mandi." Maddy reaches over my mom and grabs a few oreos.

"Gimme some of them chips." She opens the back up and I dig my hand in to grab some.

"Don't spill them chips in my bed."

"We not." We both groan. This is why we don't hang out with her. We asked if she wanted to go in the living room but she didn't feel like it. We recently decided to get a tv for the living room for when my friends come over. My dad didn't like to watch tv in the living room because that was "family time".