eccentric 》 muke | cashton

‣ michael

They say life is a roller coaster, right? It has it's ups and downs.

Well what if your life roller coaster is going in a slow straight pattern and you're just ready for it to be over.

I'm Michael, depressed and tired.

Sometime's it feels like life is moving in a slow, straight line and I feel trapped. I'm always ready to drop to the floor and sleep, maybe this nightmare will be over. But I can't and I wont.

A year ago, the worst year of my life, I lost someone. Her name was Rose but I called her mum. She fell asleep. But didn't wake up.

Every since I've been afraid to go to sleep. Afraid that if I do, I'll end up like my mother. Dead. Just the thought of it sends chills down my spine. Everyone I've met have told me my phobia is stupid and it's unnecessary. But I can't help it, believe me, if I had a choice I'd sleep all day long.

You might be wondering how I'm still alive. Shit, I'm wondering the same thing. But I feel myself slowly dying. Scary to say but it's true. I'm getting weaker and weaker each day. My skin is getting paler and colder, slightly... very slightly green. I get blurry visions a lot. I've lost a lot of weight too. Not that anyone can tell under the sweatshirts and sweatpants I wear. Which is the only thing I wear.

I know that if I don't get help, I'm going to die.

Which is why I don't sleep in the first place.

So this roller coaster is going in a circle, if I sleep, I'll die but if I don't sleep, I'll die.

So I found a support group and if it doesn't help...

Sadly, we all know what will happen