eccentric 》 muke | cashton

twenty 《 ashton

I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate everything.

I just want to die, maybe that way I can apologize to mum and tell her how sorry I am for being such an idiot and a freak.

The funeral was now long done and everyone was just kind of talking and casually patting my back. Whenever I'd see someone walk over to me I'd quickly walk away, other times I don't see them and I end up feeling the place where where touched me and itching to take a shower.

"Ashton?"

I turned around to see my sister, her mascara a little smudged at the bottom.

"Oh... uh..." I said not really knowing what to say.

She's been ignoring me for the past few days so I don't know what to say to her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I looked down and nodded quickly, "Yeah... are you?"

She frowned, "No."

I looked up at her, expecting a completely different reaction. I thought she would lie and say yes. Play that older sister role to stay strong and tell me that's it okay.

"I'm not fine because it's my fault. It's all my fault. I could've done something, you know?" She said her eyes filling with tears.

"The doctor said it could've been anything." I said in a quiet tone even thought just an hour ago I was saying the same thing.

"We got in a fight Ashton, mom and I. And it was bad." She pressed her lips together and looked up, "I told her that I hate her and that I'm leaving."

I shrugged, trying my hardest not to cry, "But it's not why she-"

"I told her I want her to..." Piper said, starting to panic, "to die."

I shook my head frantically, "No you didn't."

"Yes I did Ashton, I-"

"No! Stop talking I don't want to hear it." I kept walking backwards but she followed.

"I killed her!"

"Stop!" I covered my ears and broke into sobs.

Everyone crowded around us. My grandparents asking me whats wrong and everyone else's faces drowning in concern. I looked at Piper where she stood a few feet away, watching us.

How could she just stand there? What a heartless creature. We just lost our mother, our only parent and she can't show any love towards me. I hate her.

I wiped my eyes and gave her a stone cold look. I never want to speak to her again. I never want to see her. She's dead to me.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed.

Dead.

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