eccentric 》 muke | cashton

‣ luke

A story has a beginning and end, correct? Well what if my story is ending without even beginning.

I'm dying. I know I am. And it's all because of my inability to sleep.

I don't remember when it started happening but I remember waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep. Then it became hard for me to even fall asleep. Now I can't even fall asleep.

I was diagnosed with Primary insomnia in 7th grade. Then in 9th grade I was diagnosed with depression which lead to Secondary insomnia.

On weekends, it's impossible to get any sleep. The most I'll get is and hour before school, if I'm lucky. On weekends I'll get some sleep on Sunday afternoons but not enough to keep me healthy.

We've tried everything but absolutely nothing seems to work. And it sucks. Mum knows I'm dying. Dad does too. My two brothers know as well but they act as if everything's alright. They try to act normal but that doesn't make it better.

I know I'm dying.

Then mum found some support group not far from where we live. I'm seriously hoping this will help me because I don't have a story yet.

I don't want it to end before it actually begins.

This is a little embarrassing but I'm a total virgin. I haven't even kissed anyone. My life has been completely boring and normal. I've never even broken a bone. And the whole insomnia shit doesn't make my life seem better.

It makes my life feel like I'm trapped and can't get out of it without giving up and dying. But I'm not giving up. Never.