Birthdaypresent(s) [Broshler]

This is not like us

"Okay, someones in a bad mood", Josh grumbled after his argument with Brendon.

He sighed. Last days that happened a lot, and it bothered him to the core. In all these years obviously they had their differences, minor arguments, but never this many and for such a long time. And about what? Absolutely nothing and everything.

So it bothered him, he actually hated it, and maybe it even scared him a bit. Afraid he had taking their solid relationship for granted and that things were starting to crumble. Especially after his, or their, confessions towards Tyler.

But at the same time, walking on his toes around Brendon got him on edge and he just snapped back at every little remark, in stead of sitting down and talk. He was tired, annoyed. And, apparently, so was Brendon.

"Whatever", Brendon huffed back, eyes not even off of his laptop for a second.

Josh watched Brendon as the pink haired stepped into his Nikes. He tried not to sigh out loud. "Okay, so I'll be back around 5."

Brendon rolled his eyes, snorting.
"You know? It would've been nice if you'd actually ask me to come too, once in a while."

"Really Bren? Wanna come?"

Brendon spit back at him, his voice even raised a bit. "You know I cant, I actually have a job to do. But have fun at your other boyfriend, i'll make sure to have dinner ready for when you get back."

"What the fuck, Bren? Are you kidding me?"

Brendon sighed and rubbed his face, not answering. When his hands dropped back on the table, looked sad. Josh stared at him for what felt like hours, but probably it must've been only a few seconds. Did he really just say that?

But, instead of asking him what's wrong, to explain himself, Brendon's remark hit another nerve and he bit his lip to keep himself silent.
"Jealousy looks ugly on you." Josh then mumbled as he shook his head.

"Josh! I'm not jealous!"

"Right!"

Brendon jumped up, his hands immediatly  cupping Josh's face firmly as soon as he stood in front of him. His eyes nearly burned holes in Josh's brain, his stare intense, intimidating maybe. Josh swallowed, searching for the truth in Brendon's gaze.

"I am not fucking jealous."
"Then wh-."

"I'm scared, Josh. Okay? I. Am. Scared."

Josh's angry frown faded the second those words left Brendon's lips. "You're scared? For what?" He asked, his voice now soft, all anger had dissolved, disappeared as if it had never been there and it was instantly replaced with concern. His hands clasped around Brendon's wrists.

"Well..." Brendon sighed. "You just got to spend a lot more time at Tylers lately and..." he gently let his hands sink down and let go, then uncomfortably scratching the back of his head.

"You know... After what we talked about, and what you said to him and all..." he took a deep breath. "What if this whole thing will not work out? What if he doesn't like.. me? What if he just really likes you, and you like him a lot too and..." Brendon shrugged lightly, biting his lip, hesitant.

"I'm scared i'm going to lose you to Tyler."

The last part was a near whisper, his voice soft and sincere. Josh didnt know if he had ever seen Brendon so vulnerable. Josh's stomach churned, in all the wrong ways, his brain almost caught in a flare of panic.

"Babe, no, no" he whimpered as he pulled himself closer to Brendon and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that, i'm-." He pulled himself even closer. "God i'm stupid." He squeezed his eyes shut, realization hitting him hard. It was his fault. "I-I've been so caught up in everything that happened with Tyler that I completely forgot to be here for you. With you. I totally took you for granted and oh god, i'm so sorry."

They stood there for a few seconds, maybe a minute, in silence. "Bren? Please don't be scared. I love you way, way too much. You would never lose me, I can't bear the thought of losing you Bren." He felt Brendon nodd softly. "I'm so sorry. And please, talk to me whenever something, or me, bothers you? I hate arguing with you."

Brendon let out a relieved, small laugh. "I'm sorry. Me too."

Josh pulled away to stare up to Brendon's face, his arms still clasped around his boyfriend. "I love you."

He pecked a quick kiss to Brendon's lips. "And you know what, you're absolutely right. We're in this together. Together or not at all."
Brendon smiled softly before answering with a kiss back. "Together or not at all", he repeated softly.

Josh nodded, all the tension of last days had completely left the room. "How long will you be busy for?"

Brendon looked back at his laptop while he thought. "i should be done for today around 5."

"Shall i call him that we'll be over later, bringing food? He's going to be super excited to see you." A little mischievous smile formed on Josh's lips, and made Brendon laugh. "you think so?"

"Oh, i know so. I've talked with him, about you."

"You did?"

"Hmm", Josh hummed. "I know you feel like you think he mostly likes me, but he likes you too Bren. Maybe it's just not as obvious, he doesn't show it as much, because you don't wanna show that you actually like him a lot too", the younger chuckled.

"Maybe", Brendon huffed, semi-insulted. "Just call him okay, I'll finish work then." And he walked off with a smug grin.