Birthdaypresent(s) [Broshler]

Birthday boy

"Aren't you like... super confused?" Josh asked as he and Brendon crawled into bed later that night. "Confused?"
Josh sighed as he slid down further under the covers, scooting closer to Brendon because it was way too cold on his lonely side of the bed. He couldn't help but let his mind wander at how nice and warm it would be with that one more specific person here.

"Yeah like.. all these... feelings?" Josh chuckled. Even though he still got flustered quickly talking about it, he had decided to be full on honest with Brendon and himself.

Brendon laughed. "God, i love you. You're so cute when you're in love." Josh blushed profusely but shook his head as good as he could in the position he was laying. "I've always been in love. With you. The whole time."

"I know babe, i know. But that's like... love. Not the new smitten vibe you're radiating now."
Josh sighed because he knew Brendon was right.

"My head's just going 500 mph. So's my heart", Josh admitted. "I mean I can't deny that yeah, i'm definitely in love with Tyler but somehow during all of this I only started loving you more... And when i see you and Tyler everything just goes even faster and i just feel so much."

Brendon smiled softly as Josh just kept going. "I just... It's a lot? And i'm scared. I'm scared to disappoint you. Like, i don't want you to feel less loved or interesting or feel betrayed for one tiny second, and i'm just scared that exactly that will happen."

He stared at Brendon's face, slightly frustrated. "And i hate how i cannot read you, while you always so easily read me and i can't stand not knowing exactly what's going on in your head. You're so cool and calm about all of this while i'm freaking out Bren."

"Babe", Brendon started. "I've told you before I was scared too. It's complicated for all of us, but it's... okay? Right?"
Josh nodded, unable to stop his smile. "It is. It is... Just.. let me know what's going on there", he answered as he gently tapped between Brendon's eyebrows.

...
"I love you, I like Tyler, I love seeing you two together, I love being around you two together."
"You keep saying that but it makes me sad..."
"Sad?"
"It makes it sound like... You'd let me have another boyfriend because you love me. I don't want that. I don't want this if you don't want Tyler too, and i feel like you're hiding something about how you're feeling towards him."
Brendon didn't answer, just kept his eyes scanning Josh's face as he did before.

"And i feel like it can be two things. One; you for whatever reason don't want to show that you actually like him a lot more then you want us, me, to think. Two; you don't actually like him as much for yourself as we talked about. And you're just doing this to make me happy.
And i swear Brendon if it's the second then please tell me right now, because it'll kill me otherwise. Tell me either way."

Brendon was silent. For a while. Maybe, or no definitely, too long for Josh's liking and anxiety grabbed him by the throat. Oh god. What if it was true and Brendon didn't-.

"I love you Josh."
Josh swallowed, hard. "Fuck, Bren", he whispered in a desperate little whine."
"don't worry", Brendon answered, holding Josh's hand and squeezing it tightly. "Don't worry", he repeated. "I like Tyler. I like him. A lot. I'm just... careful. I want this all to go right, i'm honestly just really careful. And you're overthinking, which makes perfect sense, but... I like him, a lot, I wouldn't have kissed him if i didn't like him babe."