FOUR QUARTERS

Chapter 70

Jonah

Waking up earlier than I usually do I just lay in my bed calming my racing mind. Noticing the sky lighting up and colors begin to transcend memories of my grandma invade my head. Grabbing my phone going to the photo gallery I instantly find pictures of me and her together. As I was scrolling through the pictures when a video caught my eye. Pressing play I saw my grandma I smiled as I listened.

My precious Jonah, being able to see the man you have become and are growing into I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have seen you. I have missed 15 years of your life when I could have changed that I could have been involved but opted out. I should have chosen you but I chose a monster. Even at this moment, I'm consumed with guilt. Don't be like me and continue making wrong choices. You have a family who is there for you and who loves you. It will take you some time to reciprocate the love, but it's better than holding onto rage, anger, and pain. Baby, don't allow pain to be your only source of feelings and emotions.

Jonah pain cannot be a blanket or cover for you. I know your hurt and scared and that only is a dangerous concoction, however, forgiveness is a precious gift. You may not think so but it is forgiveness has the power to change everything. Yes, it can make things better or worse but in the case, it will make everything a lot better. You always wanted a father, a family you have it. Don't allow this wall to make you miss out on something so amazing. The closest people can turn away from you, and the pain that is inflicted is too much to bear. You don't have to carry this pain just open up your heart. Letting fear control you is no way to live.

Forgiveness hard Jonah, but now its time for you to extend the hand and be the young man your mom raised. Stop carrying around your heavy and cold heart baby you not hurting them your hurting yourself. I chose to spend this time with you to ease my guilt. It hurts Jonah it hurts a lot to know I could hurt you and my daughter in such a way. Your mom has a forgiving heart and I know you do too. I remember this I never came after yall or apologized but your father he did and he has been trying since. The past was painful for the three of you but you have the power to change. I know your scared baby, so was I, but now I am about to watch this beautiful sunrise with you. I love you, Jonah."

Wiping the tears from my face I got up from my bed went to the window and watched the sunrise. When the sun had burst through I went and took me a long shower. Looking at my reflection I see where he hit me at. Entering back in my room something caught my eye. Walking over to my bed I see Gavin's tuxedo jacket that my put under my head. Holding it close to me as my consciousness attacked thinking about I saw the worry and angry on his face. The way he stood up for me. Taking a deep breath I get up and hang the coat in my closet then got dressed.

Going downstairs I hear my mom talking to someone. The voice seems familiar yet a little vague. Walking into the kitchen I see Gwen and her mom talking to my mom When Gwen's mom turned and saw me. "Good Morning Jonah" She said with a smile. "Good morning," I said while taking a seat at the island. "Good morning baby, how did you sleep." "Good morning mo-" "Jonah what happened to you" Gwen's mother asked touching the bruises. "Nothing. It's fine." "You ready to eat breakfast," "Not now. Can I be excused momma, I will be back soon." I got up kissing my mom on the said my good-byes then left.

After hours of walking around, I ended up at a familiar park. 'how did I get here.' I asked myself. Sitting down at the bench we were at before I took my phone out and listen to the message again as Allen words jumped in swimming around in my head from last night.

*** Flashback***

"Is everything okay," I questioned Allen. "Don't end up like me." I froze at his words. "Wha- what do you mean." "I have nothing and nobody due to my fucked up actions. Don't be so hateful and spiteful toward Gavin and his family that you end up alone. Your past can and will alter your future." "I'm trying" "Your fake trying. It's a difference." I open my mouth to speak but nothing came out. "You are so devastated and consumed with what Gavin said all those years ago to your mom you don't hear nor see what he is doing now. He made a mistake so how long are you going to punish yourself. You are no longer punishing him its aimed at yourself.

Gavin's mistakes are his these are now your mistakes because you can't let go of something that not helping you. Unless you like wreaking your own heart bringing more unnecessary pain. Cut the pain off. You need you dad just stop fighting it. He loves you and needs you just like you do. Just because it hurts like hell don't mean you don't need to do it. If you need me I'll be here but right now you need your dad. I'll see you kid." I nodded then he walked off.

Letting my mind drift off I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder turning around I see Gavin standing behind me with a worried look on his face. "Are you okay Jonah." I stood up facing him trying to conjure up words to say, but nothing came out except my tears I just cried as he wrapped his arms around me.

Maddison

Noticing the door open thinking it's a nurse I turned my head only to see her. "How are you darling." I didn't say anything, "Short on words that's okay. This won't take long. I have you a fresh IV bag," she took out bag out of her purse. "I told you that I wasn't done. This IV bag has a special kind of medicine." She said changing out the bags.

"This will slowly incinerate your insides. You know you should have looked at the divorce decree closer. Gavin doesn't want you to have our last name and you are responsible for everything. As your insides slowly burn remember my words you fucked with the wrong family bitch,"

"I'll see you next time darling," She said happily leaving as I try to remove the IV but no luck.

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