FOUR QUARTERS

Chapter 77

 

 
 

                   Jonah

               (next morning)
 
After a shower, I rushed downstairs to see Gwen cooking breakfast. “Good morning,” I say still sleepy. “Good morning.” She says with a smile. “Your uncle is on his way over.” She said with a happier tone and brighter smile. “Which one?” “Oh, sorry. Your uncle Odell.” “Is it a reason he’s coming.” “We need to help Simone and Gavin in getting together.” “No, we have done enough.” “What was said last night? Between them” “enough to know”

I stopped because I needed to talk to my mom even though I somewhat know. “Jonah,” Gwen says waving her hand in my face. “I’m sorry. I was thinking about something.” “You sure” I nodded. A knock on the door interrupted us. Gwen eagerly went to open the door. In the distance, I heard my uncle's voice. As they entered into the kitchen.
 
“Good morning nephew.” “Moring uncle Odell.” “I understand you want your parents together.” “I want my mom happy.” “What about your happiness Jonah,” Gwen said looking at me. “This isn’t just about your mom. Let’s say she is happy with Gavin but in a few years, your resentment towards Gavin emerges then what. What if they have more kids, how are you going to fell then. Don’t push your mom on a person if your not one hundred percent supportive. That’s going to cause a lot of od issues and problems down the line and I don’t just mean for them. You say your trying if that's the case, then be honest with yourself. Do you really want Gavin and Simone, your parents together.”
 
Taken back by her words but it really made me stop and think. “I’ll be right back” I went to the guest room where I slept grabbing my phone. Going to the photo gallery I went to the last video my grandmother left me and listen to it. Her plea telling me it’s okay to move on to move forward. Then I remembered what my mom said William never regretted what he did. Gavin regrets so much. “Penny for your thoughts” I looked up to see my uncle.
 
“Just thinking about somethings momma and grandma told me.” he didn’t say anything just came and sat on the bed looking at me. “Momma said William never regretted what he did to her and when he told me what he did he didn’t seem to care.” “He didn’t care when he threw Simone out. When Patrick and I wanted to help he wouldn’t allow it. That night momma cried. He yelled at her in her face and told her if she cried again over what happen she was next. She cried when he wasn’t around and I’m sure why she was at work. He burned the picture of you and Simone in front of my mom and dared her to cry. I’m was angry and pissed at what Gavin to my sister and you, but he is obviously sorry and his own words and actions affected him too. Gavin has remorse for his actions and is trying hard to make it up to three people William did nothing. William would cause you and Simone more pain if he was out of jail. Tell me this who would you rather have in your life, Gavin or William. They both caused you and Simone heartbreaking pain. Right. SO who would you pick”
 
“Gavin,” I say without a second thought. “Why.” “He has been trying, he did rescue momma, when we talked he was sincere and meant what he said, he told me he loves me.” “He’s your dad, something you never had but something you have now.” “Uncle Odell, am I standing in the way of momma and Gavin.” “Could be. He might want to try again with your mom and she might want to also but neither will act on their own feeling because they want to make sure you happy and okay with it. Question is are you going to alright and happy with them not being together and unhappy and miserable with other people.”
 
That stung my heart. “I don’t want to cause them any more pain nor do I want either of them to be unhappy and yes even Gavin.” “If he wants to be with your mom.” I smiled I will support what they both want.” “And if they want to be happy together” “I will support that.” He nodded. “Before you support that relationship you need to build one with Gavin, not a one where it slow you need to build, if not your parent's relationship whatever may come it will be ruined.” I nodded my head to let him know I understood what he was saying. “Jonah I know it's hard. I’m a grown man and dealing with my dad done and he doesn’t care your dad does.” “What if-“ “What if nothing. Take your what if to Gavin I can't speak for him. He does love you.” “I know he does.” “Fear and growth don’t go together.” “Thanks, uncle.”
 
I turned to grab my things. “Where are you going.” I smiled its Sunday. Spending it with my mom.” “Come on. I’ll take you home. After saying good-byes to Gwen, we were on the road. The drive was quite ‘til uncle Odell broke the silence. “Jonah you have a family and a lot of people that love you. I know it’s hard for you to trust any of us, but we are all here for you especially Gavin. I saw it the night we exposed William. He wants to be in your life and he wants to be your dad. Give him that chance, that opportunity. Some kids wait a lifetime and their fathers never come. Yours is here begging you just to be in your life.”
 
 
We pulled up at the house Gavin’s vehicle was gone letting me know he didn’t stay the night. Facing my uncle I spoke. “I want my parents happy together or not.” There was a knock on the window I looked and saw Steve. He hopped in the car. “You forgot this yesterday.” He passed me my bag of clothes. “Why we in the car. Is a burglar in the house. I know kung swing fu.” “You know what” Uncle Odell questioned. “Let me drive my car into the house. Jonah, Momma P got insurance right.” “Steve,” I said as he was about to get out. “No, we were talking about Gavin and Momma.”
 
“What about our parents.” “I’m trying to build a relationship with Gavin. I – I” I paused “I don’t know Steve.” “Your dad left you said some very unfortunate things to Momma P that left you with a void in your heart and life where he should be. My dad was present yet still absent and trust me it's more damaging, the only difference is he is here ready to be your dad. What’s stopping you. being scared.” He looked me in my eyes. “You know what’s scary seeing your dad and him not being a father to you. Why do you think I cling so close to yours.” “Steve,” I said, he smiled and got out the car and walked to his. My uncle just looked at me. “Jonah” “I’ll see you later unk,” I said lowly then got out the car and went into the house.
 
Walking into the living room I saw momma laying on the couch watching a movie. “I’m home momma” She smiled getting up and hugged me. “How was staying with Gwen it was good. She is nice.” “She is. Momma can we talk.” “Baby is everything alright?” “Yes, ma’am. I was here last night.” “What do you mean here.” “I got home and saw Gavin’s car outside so I went around to the backdoor and came in. I heard you two talking. That’s why I went to Gwen’s house.”   
 
“Why didn’t you come in and say you were here.” “Because yall needed to talk.” “Momma do you want to be with Gavin.” “Jonah.” “Momma be honest with me please.” “It’s complicated baby.” “Because of me.” “You do play a role in it, however, there are other factors that play a vital role as well.” “Like what,” I said as we both sat down. “Our shattered past.” My momma words begin playing in my head. “Momma do you remember when you told me Gavin was going to quit his job so I could play and I was so happy and excited about it.” “I remember”
 
“Why didn’t you want him to quit his job.” “Nothing would have changed Jonah. He would still be here, more than likely coming to games to see you play might as well let him be your coach.” “He said he was giving it up for me right, so I would be happy right.” “That’s right.” “Didn’t Gavin say he would give up football for you, for us.” She nodded. “So why make him give up everything and you still second-guessing him. Why even make him give up something he loves. Why can't he have both? Momma is the same person from a long time ago.” “No,” she said looking at me with tears forming in her eyes looking at me. “Jonah, it’s different so much as happened.” “When he found you and took care of you why did you think he did that. He was their and supportive when yall lost the baby.” “Gavin has always wanted other girls.”
 

“That may be true, but how many of them did he give football up for.” Momma looked at me “When did you grow up on me.” “When I saw my mom is in love and I and don’t want to stand in the way of her happiness and she shouldn’t stand in the way of her own happiness.” She smiled.
 

“I love you, baby.” She said hugging me. “I love momma”
 

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