FOUR QUARTERS

Chapter 59

 
 

                          Simone
 

Waking up to an empty room which is how I felt empty. Thinking back to last night when I finally fell asleep Gavin was in bed holding me and Jonah held my hand as laid on my legs and went to sleep now I’m wondering where they both are. Being cut out of my thoughts the bathroom door opens.
 
“Good morning Momma P.” I smiled when I saw Steve. “Good morning. How long have you been here?” “Since yesterday. Gavin took Jonah home to get a change of clothes and get you some clean clothes as well. Can I get you anything.” “No, I’m okay.” “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.” He dropped his head. “Come here, Steve.” We walked toward me slowly as I followed his eyes and he saw the sonogram pictures. Some tears escape his eyes as he wiped them away quickly.
 
Taking his hand in mine. “It will take some time, but we will get through it.” “It’s just that.” He stopped and shook his head as he just hugged. “I just want to make the pain stop for you, Jonah, and coach. Why did it have to be him or her.” He said as I felt his warm tears come in contact with me. Making my own tears spill from my eyes. “Thank you, Steve. That means a lot.” “I didn’t have enough money to buy you some flowers. I was going to steal some from around the hospital to give you b-“ “Steve” I cut him off  “What it’s not like they can't get some more.” He said as the door open to reveal Gwen and my brother.
 
“Ima go and get you those flowers.” I gave him a questionable look. “It’s going to brighten up the room.” He said with a smile. “Steve” He turned to face me. “I still have you and Jonah and that’s enough for me,” I said as he came and hugged. “I Love you too Momma P.,” he said then left out the room.
 
“Hey, how you feeling sis,” Odell asked. “I’m fine.” “You want to try again and this time the truth,” Gwen said with sadness in her eyes. “I feel” “Dark, sad, lonely, scared, broken, less than a woman, like a filature, empty. I know what it’s like I’ve been here” Gwen says as she hugged. “You described how I’m feeling” “But it’s still more emotions.” “I know Simone, I know. Just take it one day at a time.” She pulled away. “I’ll be here to help.” “we all will,” Patrick said. “Thank you,” I notice Patrick’s eyes on the sonogram pictures. “That’s all I have left of my baby some pictures.” He picked them up looking at them smiling as Odell joined him.
 
“Sis I am so sorry,” Odell said. “Thank you.” “Are you and Gavin back together.” Soon as the words left Gwen’s mouth the room became thick with air and it started suffocating me. “Gavin and I are. I- I honestly don’t know and right now that’s not high up on our list of things to be concerned about.” She nodded her head in understanding. As the door open again to reveal Gavin’s parents with flowers. “Could we speak to Simone for a few moments alone.” Mr. Langford asked. My brothers kissed my cheek and Gwen hugged me telling me they would be back later.
 
“How are you feeling?” “I will be alright in time Mrs. Langford.” She smiled. “We would like for you and Jonah to stay with us for a while until you recover. We have more than enough room.” “Uh. I have a house. Jonah and I will be fine. Thank you for the offer though.” “Is there something wrong with our home?” “It’s not mine.” “Yes, however, your house is a house full of pain right now not need to stir it up more. We would fe-“  
 
“Mr. Langford please understand I appreciate the offer, but I am not moving into yall’s house just because mine is filled with pain and agony. Even if Jonah and I would move into yall's house when we go back to our house the agony and pain will still be present. All I want is just to be with son and heal from this.” “Where does Gavin fit into all of this” “Mrs. Langford asked. As the door, open Jonah and Gavin walked in followed by the doctor.
“Looks you got a room, Ms. Peterson.” The doctor said. “How are you feeling this morning.” Tired of hearing this question I give a simple response. “I’m okay.” “I’ll take that for now. I want to run some more test on you and examine you again and later on this afternoon if everything is clear you can go home. I will give you a doctors excuse to be off work until Monday or would you like for me to extend it?” Before could speak he continued. “I’m going to make the excuse through next Wednesday. You went a traumatic loss and need to heal. I’m going to set up the test. I will back to check on you later and with the results.”
 
“Momma I knew you wouldn’t want no hospital food so I got you some breakfast.” “Thank you, baby.” “What is toast and eggs,” “That’s it.” “Momma you know I can't cook. Oh, and I got you some dried cereal.” “You went all out.” I say laughing. As Jonah came and laid on the bed beside. “Jonah can we talk to you for a little bit” Gavin’s mom asked? Jonah looked at her like she grew two heads. “Sure” he finally said getting out of bed and followed them out the door. Leaving me and Gavin alone.
 
He sat beside me then kissed my forehead as I begin to cry. “This time yesterday I still had our baby in me and now,” I said as I rested my head on his shoulder. “We will get through this. Is it anything I can do?” “Just hold me.” Gavin immediately got in the bed and held me until they came and got me for the test.
 
                             Jonah  
 

Going into the empty room I look at them ready for them to speak. “How are you.” “I’m okay.” “You don’t have to be tough in front of us.” “What is it that you both want from me?” “We just want you to know we know you hurting too and we just want you to know we are here for you. Jonah, we understand you need your space and time but you just loss your sibling and your mom are hurting. I can see the agony displayed all over. You don’t have to let us in just let us be there for you right now as you heal.”
 
Mr. Langford said as Mrs. Langford hugged me while I cried. “We got you,” Mrs. Langford said as Mr. Langford hugged us as well. 
 
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