EEEEMMMMMEEETTT! (Twilight Humour)

Bella's Dare

Jasper's POV:

Dear lord what is WRONG with Emmett today?! He has nearly killed Bella like 5 times? Emmett had planned some crazy dare and Alice had obviously seen it in a vision, and now Edward is calling. Emmett being the idiot he is, flew across the room to go and help Bella, in attempt to stop her. I ran across the room picked her up and put her on the sofa. Luckily she wasn't bleeding, I don't know how well I would do with her blood pouring everywhere. While I helped Bella, Emmett had picked up the phone, with a shouting Edward on the other end of the line.

"Uhhh.......hello" Emmett said nervous for his life.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO BELLA?, TELL ME NOW!", Edward yelled into the tiny phone.

"SHE FLEW INTO A WALL" Emmett shouted back just to be louder than Edward.

"SHE WHAT, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!" Edward screamed so loud that even i could hear it all the way across the room, that's without my extra hearing sense.

"Gezz calm down Edward she is ok....... i think?"

"SHE'S PASSED OUT RIGHT NOW". I said just loud enough so Edward could hear me.

"Just keep her safe. How is she?" Emmett looked over at me for back up. I could feel her emotions slowly coming back to her.

"She is fine. Well she is in a better condition than i thought she would be in" I was now feeling relived.

"I want to talk to her" Edward demanded. Emmett rolled his eyes. He thought Edward was a drama queen. I took the phone and turned off speakerphone. I held the phone near her ear.

"Wakey, Wakey Bella!" 

Bella's POV:

Everything hurt. More than it should. My head felt like someone hit it with a hammer, while my body felt like it had been run over by a train. But that's exactaly what Emmett was, 5 trains with bulls tied to the front. What did I do to deserve this? I was woken by a heavenly sound. An Angel. Oh damn it, was I actually dead this time? An Angel calling my name.

"Bella?" I kept my eye's closed

 Oh damn i'm dead The Angel was silent for a moment.

"What?" My Angel asked

"Your my angel right?" He let out a chuckle, then whispered "Bella open your eyes" I did as he said. Jasper was standing over me holding my phone next to my ear. "Oh" I sighed and Emmett erupted into laughter.

"Sorry love, but I'm not that type of Angel" Edward said, why didn't he believe himself to be good?

"You are exactly that kind of Angel" I said, smiling

"All that love talk is killing me over here" Jasper said just loud enough for Edward to hear.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked after he stopped laughing.

"Umm... my head hurts alot. In fact everywhere does, but I don't think its anything SERIOUS..... I'm fine"

"I coming home" He said,  I had to reassure him. Quick.

"No Edward I'm fine really, Jasper is looking after me" I said smiling at Jasper. He was my favourite brother. He is a protective big brother.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked me , sounding uneasy. "Yes, go hunt. I love you"

"I love you too" he said before hanging up.

"Emmett, I guess you need to choose a new dare for Bella" Jasper said smiling. "Huh?" I questioned.

"That's why Edward called, Alice saw you almost drownding in the harbour."  The harbour?

"What was I doing in the harbour Emmett?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him. His expression looked like a kid getting caught sneaking into the cookie jar.

"Anyway new dare!!" he said changing the subject. I cut him off.  "One that dosen't involve me dying" Jasper sniggered whilst Emmett continuted " I dare you to dress sexy and go to the bar, get drunk and see how many boy's phone number's you can get." My mouth was hanging open, I don't even know for how long. I sat there wide-eyed in embarrassment, just from HEARING the dare. But then i compossed myself, "And WHAT exactally I am supposed to wear?"

"I think I can help with that" a soprano voice came from the doorway. It was the voice of a devil. It was the voice of evil. It was the voice of Alice.