EEEEMMMMMEEETTT! (Twilight Humour)

Almost Death's

I didn't watch the screen, I watched Edward's face, his emotions were hurt, to pain, to anger, to fury. "Edward?" I asked again looking up at him. He turned to look me in the eyes, he tilted my face upwards with his finger and kissed me. His smooth lips, crushed against mine, a sensation I loved. My heart beat sped up. He usually didn't kiss me like this. Eventually i pulled away for air "I'm so sorry he did that to you". Edward held me tighter.

Jasper 's dare approached us and everyone erupted into laughter and Edward smiled my crooked smile and kissed the top of my head.

The laughing was non-stop all through Jasper's dare. Alice was coping very well seeming that Jasper is her husband and she likes things HER way.

After Jasper screamed 'WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE' Edward threw his head back, and was laughing like Emmett.

"That was one of MY favourites" Rosalie said laughing like a maniac Emmett and I was just laughing at how i fell onto the floor. I looked very dramatic.

The lamp thing is coming up now......

We all turned to look at Edward. I don't think I have ever seen him so furious before. He sat me up and ran over to Emmett at started to beat him up once again. "EMMMMETTTT!! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!!! YOU ALMOST KILLED HER, HOW MANY TIMES DOES THAT MAKE IT NOW THEN?!! HOW COULD YOU FORGET SHE WAS HUMAN! YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!" Jasper and Alice had to pull him off Emmett, and then Jasper sent calming waves towards Edward too. He sat back down glaring at Emmett.

Egging Mike's house was next and Edward couldn't stop laughing, "He got his punishment" Edward said (which meant Mike and Emmett.) Edward and Alice was laughing while Emmett was glaring at me "Dude, you don't have the rights to glare I am still blue, remember?" I said laughing in the end. "Humph" he said and we all laughed.

Everyone burst out laughing at Emmett's bail dance/jumping. Alice giggled "You look like a 6 year old jumping up and down...."

"Oh Alice" he replied. "You're a fine one to talk" A frown crossed her face.

Here comes up another one of my almost death's. The one where I crashed into a wall yet again because of Emmett.

Edward looked as if he was going to get up again,and literally kill Emmett this time but I told him "Stay with me" I said in my best pleeding voice, he listened, I thought that Emmett had more than enough of a beatings for one day. "Emmett how could you do that!!" I don't think I've ever seen Edward so annoyed "What did throwing Bella into a wall do?". He demanded, not taking his eyes of mine.

I'm not watching this it's me thinking that I had gone to heaven......

Everyone watched it and was all laughing of course i turned red although no one could see underneath the blue dye which was on my face. "I thought I had died when I heard your voice" I whispered into his shoulder.

"I knew you were hurt, why didin't you just tell me, you should have" Edward said sympathetically

"I wasn't hurt, it was just painful, I would have told you if it was serious" I told him.

Ok Edward is going to get angry again.

"YOU. LET. BELLA. GET. DRUNK!?!"

"Yeah, it was soooo funny" Emmett boomed laughing hysterically,Rosalie slapped the back of Emmett's head. Emmett was now in deep trouble......