EEEEMMMMMEEETTT! (Twilight Humour)

Hyper

When, oh WHEN, will they STOP LEAVING ME WITH EMMETT?! this time Jasper has gone with them, so I refuse to do anything but watch movies in the Cullen's living room. We were watching Star Wars.

"So, Bella.....who's your favourite Jedi?" Emmett asked.

"Anakin." I replied, staring at the screen.

"OHMAIGAWD! NOOO!" He yelled. I turned to look at him,

"He's sooooooo CUTE!" I said.

"LOOK BEYOND THE CUTENESS!!" He yelled, "HE KILLED BABIES!!!!" there was a moment of silence, then he continued, ".....so you like that in a man, HUH?!" I cracked up laughing. He was crazy.

Then the Volturi came through the new fire system Emmett had installed in the living room:

Emmett: AHHHHH! What do you want?

Aro: We have come for a very important thing and we will not leave without it! It is so important that we even brought the wives with us!

Caius: Can we borrow a cup of sugar?

Aro: I'm making vampire smiley face cookies!

Emmett: Sorry I'm all out.

Aro: YOU WILL DIE!

Caius whips out his cool silver lighter, clicks it, but no flame. He clicks it again, nothing.

Aro: Damn. Let's go.

I can't believe the volturi were just in the living room. What did you do to the fireplace?

"I installed a teleporter so I don't get bored and lonely when i'm the house on my own"

"You might want to put some sort of block on it as you might have more unexpected visitors on the future" I said rolling my eyes.

"Awww, Bella, don't be like that, we welcome everyone in this household!"

"Or you could just remove it altogether, it's just one of the many stupid things you've done in your time"

Emmett giggled because he knew I was right but obviously being as stubborn of he is he wouldn't have any of it. So I decided to remind him about a few times he behaved stupidly.

"Oh if you don't believe you're own stupidity then how about the time when we all went to the mall, and we went into Sephora, and you tried on all of the make-up, and went around asking people if they needed help with anything in you best women's impersonation voice ? That was just one of your many pathetic plans that failed when they kicked us out."

"I WAS APPLYING FOR A JOB THERE!!"

"......Or the time when we went to the movies, and you went to get me some popcorn, and decided to make your own, and put too many kernels in, and the snack bar exploded!"

"But there was no popcorn!"

".....or, OR!! How 'bout the time when we went to that pet store and you stuffed all those animals in your clothes, claiming you were going to 'SET THEM FREE!'"

"Hey! That was NOT pathetic!"

"Emmett.....you had snakes in your pockets."

"SO!"

I shook my head and returned to watching the movie.

""So.....who's YOUR favourite Jedi?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the screen.

"YODA!" he replied excitedly.

"But.....he's all green, and wrinkly."

"GREEN AND WRINKLY THINGS ARE COOL, BELLA!!" The movie ended and I went to search for another one.