EEEEMMMMMEEETTT! (Twilight Humour)

The best day of all days..YET

I can't believe I'm walking through the door to DETENTION! ME! Isabella Marie Swan….DETENTION! I thought those two things would never be in the same sentence. I'd never experienced a detention before but having everyone with me made it somewhat less frightening. Alice wanted jasper to join her obviously he had no choice in the matter Alice can be very persuasive, and Emmett forced Rosalie to come. I took Edward's outstretched hand as we walked through the doors into my worst nightmare.

"Bella, what are you scared about?" Jasper whispered, as we sat at the very back. I forgot he could feel my fear, so now I felt embarrassed. This was just an stupid fear I had.

"It's just—an irrational fear I have—" I started, trying my best to explain it—"like, people and spiders—"
"HUH! Who's afraid of SPIDERS?!" Emmett cut me off.
"Umm…..you are." Rosalie said, laughing.
"NO I'M NOT!"
"Emmett……there's a spider on your back." I said.
"WHERE?! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!!" he jumped up screaming and running around like a little girl. Jasper and Rosalie gave me a high-five.
"JUST KIDDING!" I yelled, as I crossed my legs in my seat. He sat back down, looking embarrassed.
"As I was saying……I watched a lot of movies and shows when I was little, and all these other girls in middle school used to tell me how BAD it was…." I trailed off. Edward grabbed my hand and pressed his lips to my ear, "Bella, there is literally nothing to worry about. All you do is sit here for an hour." What? Really? Great. Now I feel ridiculous.

"Oh." I breathed, unable to speak more than a whisper because Edward's lips were trailing along my jaw. He was just so mesmerising, I couldn't think about anything other than his cool, stone lips on my skin.

Everyone exchanged a look, and started laughing at my trance-like state. I noticed Jasper feeling a little uncomfortable in his chair. Edward pulled away and chuckled.

"Oops, sorry, Jasper." I said, a little embarrassed. Great, now everyone knows how you are feeling, I thought to myself. Rosalie caught onto my blush and interjected, "Don't worry about everyone knowing your feelings, Bella, we can definitely tell without Jasper's assistance. By the way your heart rate stutters, your breathing accelerates and is uneven, the look in your eyes, and the way you are unable to talk, I think we get it loud and clear the effect Edward has on you." Edward let out a laugh, and my blush deepened. I hid my face in my sleeve, which made Emmett laugh hysterically.

The other students had entered the room by then. They had caught a look of Edward and I, and were staring. But, the worst part, was that the other students weren't just any kids. They were Jessica, Lauren, and Mike. Fantastic. Jasper must of sent me a wave of calm, because all my worries disappeared.

The teacher walked in, or should I say Principal. "No talking, I don't want to hear ONE WORD. And do not move an inch. I will be in the room next door." He warned us before walking out.

"OH YEAH, IT'S MY FAULT MIKE, LAUREN, AND JESSICA ARE IN HERE!" Emmett boomed, laughing. All three of them turned around to glare at Emmett. But all of the Cullen's burst out laughing.
"Emmett, what happened?" I got out after I was done laughing.
"Wellllll……Mike dented the lockers because I yelled to Edward he was checking Bella out, and Edward beat everything out of him"—we all looked over to Mike's now bandaged nose, they were listening to us—"Jessica….well......during class I wrote a note making fun of the teacher, and signed it by Jessica. Yeah, the teacher found it….and Lauren. AWW, Lauren. I stole the teacher's wallet and threw it in her bag. It was rather funny" We all cracked up laughing. Lauren and Jessica looked like they were about to blow. After a couple minutes we finally stopped laughing.

Edward leaned back to to me, kissing my cheek, then my forehead, my nose, and finally my lips. We broke off as we heard Emmett, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT NEWTON!!" We turned to see Mike staring at us. EW. Edward laughed, and returned to kissing me. He broke off again, this time a low growl coming from his chest. "What is it?" I asked, looking around. I looked over and saw Jessica and Lauren staring at us and whispering. This made me angry. The most angry I've been all day. Even angrier than when I was yelling at Emmett and minute ago. I knew exactly the things they were saying , she's not pretty enough, she's boring, she doesn't deserve him, he left her once he should do it again. I got up and walked directly over to Lauren and Jessica. In fact, I COULD hear them. And those were the exact things they were saying.

"IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD MIND MY OWN BUSINESS! EDWARD IS MINE, NOT YOURS, AND HE WILL NEVER BE YOURS, SO YOU CAN GET OVER YOUR LITTLE FANTASIES ABOUT HIM THAT KEEP YOU UP AT NIGHT, HE'S NOT LEAVING ME, APPARENTLY I'M PRETTY ENOUGH, AND, IF HE WANTED EITHER OF YOU, HE WOULD BE WITH YOU BY NOW. SO STAY AWAY, AND SHUT THE HELL UP" I let out my rant, then noticed Jasper standing next to me. He spoke to them,
"YOUS BEIN STUPID SILLAYY LIL' GURLSS, GEHT OVAA YA SELVESS SWEETHEARTSS AND TRY GO AFTA A MAN THAT ACTUALLY LIKES YA, FO SHIZZLE? THAT'S RIIIIGHTT, I WENT THERE!" Jasper said, in a high pitched voice, and snapping in a 'Z' formation. That was it. Everyone cracked up laughing. The most anyone had ALL DAY,and it had been pretty eventful. Jasper and I gave a high five and we went to sit back down.

I sat in Edward's lap and he whispered in my ear, "NOW, you were PURELY terrifying, you actually had ROSALIE cowering in her seat…not kidding." I turned to look at her, and she gave me a little smile. I grinned and turned back to Edward, "being around scary vampires for so long is starting to have an effect on me." I said as his lips were on my neck. "Well, that was very vampire-ish." He chuckled. "and VERY amusing to watch. You won't have to worry about Jessica and Lauren anymore."
I giggled, then I turned to see Emmett start to grin wildly. I could almost see the light bulb turn on in his head. Here goes another Em-idea….