EEEEMMMMMEEETTT! (Twilight Humour)

Funny day

I woke in Edward's arms. "Hello, beautiful." He said kissing me on the cheek.

"5 more minutes…." I whined. I really did NOT want to get up today. I felt like I had stayed up all night reading one of those really good books, and not getting to sleep until 4 in the morning, only to wake up at 6:30. 

"Bella….we are going to be late." Edward chuckled. I sighed as I threw the covers off of me and got up. I felt around in the dark until I found some clean clothes and grabbed a towel.

"Charlie?" I asked as I was about to leave my bedroom to take a shower.

"He left a little while ago. I will be back, love." He said as he kissed the top of my head, and left through my window to change into some clean clothes and get the Volvo. The warm water felt good on my back, and my shampoo smelled sweetly of strawberries. I gathered my things and ran down the stairs, smiling. I had a strong feeling today was going to be a good day. I headed out the door and threw myself into the Volvo.

"Feeling more optimistic than earlier?" He grinned, picking up on my happy state.

"I just have a feeling today will be interesting." We arrived at the school with plenty of time for me to go to my rarely used locker. I knew I had thrown a book in there for English class.

The hallway was crowded, like usual. My locker wasn't used because most of the time I couldn't be bothered to fight my way through the crowds, people weren't my thing (hence dating a vampire). I spun the combination on the dial, when I heard a familiar, and horrific voice. I turned to my right, to see Mike walking towards me. He walked over and stretched his arm out, to lean against the last locker, but missed, and fell to the ground. I couldn't help but let out a small giggle which I covered up with a cough after seeing his expression.

"So…Bella," he said as he got up. I was searching through my locker for that damn book! Why couldn't I find it? I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE!! I mentally screamed. "I was just thinking about that time when you romantically snuck through my window and made out with me…and I was thinking if you wanted to do it again sometime…" I froze. His hand was on me, travelling down my back, and rested on my butt. I cringed away from the contact. The next thing I heard was Edward shouting.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR HAND ON MY GIRLFRIEND'S BUTT?!!!" Edward yelled. Everyone in the crowded hall turned to look at Edward, then Mike. Mike was frozen with shock and embarrassment. I continued to cringe away from his hand with a face of disgust. Was he crazy? Edward stormed over to Mike, grabbed him by the collar and threw him against the locker.

"How many times do I have to tell you Newton!?!?" Edward yelled in his face. Mike finally worked up the courage to reply back. And that was the stupidest thing he could do.

"HEY, buddy, SHE kissed ME!" this sent Edward on a rampage. His face went dark, his expression murderous. He truly did look like a vampire. By now, everyone in the entire school was gathered, including the rest of the Cullen's. They looked on with grins on their faces, especially Emmett. Who was idiotically chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" until Rosalie smacked him in the back of the head.

"It was a DARE! In a game of truth or DARE! She would never voluntarily kiss you, you idiot. When will you learn that she doesn't love you?!" Edward said in a cool, calm, and most menacing voice I have ever heard. But Mike couldn't get out a single syllable.

"So…I'll warn you one last time. Stay. Away. From. Bella!!!" Edward dropped Mike, and he scrambled to get to his feet before running away. All of the Cullen’s erupted into cheers and whoops, while the rest of the students just laughed at Mike's state. I couldn't keep myself from laughing. I had been nice to Mike up until now, but now he pushed my buttons too far.

And this was just the beginning of possibly the funniest day I have ever had.