When the Sun Sets

9.

❝ You gotta leave before you get left ❞

❦

Whenever I have to spend the night at my parents' house, I never sleep, not even for a minute. I usually lay in bed with the bedside lamp illuminating the room enough so I can stare up at the ceiling.

My room is small and simple. I don't have any personal items in here. I don't have any pictures on the walls or any posters from favourite bands like most people my age have. I never saw this room as my home, I saw it as an escape, but not always a safe one. I hate this room with passion.

Sometimes, I go out and walk around until morning just so I don't have to spend any time here. I have a book beside me, but I'm too tired to focus on the heavy reading right now, although not nearly tired enough to fall asleep. I download a few games on my phone, but they don't interest me anymore. I'm really not the type for games, it seems. And that's unfortunate, because they could provide me with some sort of entertainment when I'm just waiting for the time to pass – like now.

I regret not going to Harper's place, but I missed the last bus to there and I didn't feel like walking that long, so I took the bus to here, although I'd much rather sleep outside on some bench than be here. I'm happy I came here late and I only have to stay here for a few hours before going to school.

I know what I'm doing isn't healthy. I'm often sleep-deprived and I know about the negative sides of not sleeping, but I'd probably have to drug myself if I wanted to fall asleep here, honestly. I'm not doing this on purpose. I didn't choose a life like this, I just happened to have it and now I'm rolling with it.

Next year, everything will be different. That keeps me going. Next year, I'll be far away from here.