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Tomorrow is the day every Ilhoon stans are waiting for. He will be discharge from military. He did it he will come back healthily.

To celebrate his discharge we just made a simple surprise party for him attended by his members and few people close to him.

After his discharge party, his schedules have started. Since they are gearing up for a full member comeback in a month after Sungjae got discharge. He has been busy the past few days I'm not complaining though.

Everyone became more busy as day passed by. I'm just proud of these 7 man fulfilling their duties and now just few weeks left to fully complete their promise to their fans that they will comeback completely.

Even on his hectic schedule I admire Ilhoon's initiative to message or update me on his whereabouts. I understand how busy they are but things happen so fast maybe it has been a week? Or two? Or three? I even lost count or didn't even try to count. I have never received any updates or anything from him.

I only got updates about him from his fansites, sudden appearance on tv shows and other broadcast related.
Through those days I haven't received anything, I always reminded myself this is a part of him being a celebrity. Maybe I wasn't still used to have a celebrity boyfriend because he never made me feel like I have one before.

I didn't stop sending him message every day that sometimes I almost got annoyed by my own messages.
I don't want to bother him at all but my thoughts bothered me so much and I am starting to hate this feeling.

I tried diverting my attention by overworking myself I asks for over time work so I cannot find myself ended up thinking of what is really happening with us.

I can feel there is something wrong but as long as I can hold on I'd rather keep this to myself.

For those weeks I felt insecure I tried to messaged him. Just a simple acknowledgement that he is still aware of my existence will keep me going. Please. I never knew I will settle for less but here I am.

Felt like fate is with me today, I was told to bring the new contract in their company might as well surprise him.

Can't wait to meet him so after some discussion about the contract, I'm on my way to his studio bringing some coffee and treats for his members as well. I heard they will have recording. Fortunately the door is slightly open, enough for me to hear what they are discussing. Based on the voices it was Sungjae, Changsub, and Eunkwang is inside.

Seems like they are in a very serious discussion. I never thought of bothering them so I thought I should leave this with their manager instead but accidentally I heard a part of their conversation.

"Sungjae we cannot just meddle in their relationship."
"Hyung they just need to talk, everyone needs a closure you know that, you cannot move on just like that."
"I understand but..."
"Hyung he sacrifice a lot when you are in the army it was him who do everything... became the representative of the group and all... I'm just saying doesn't he deserve it this time."
"Sungjae are you hearing yourself?"
"I don't get where is this going..."
"Either of his decision one will suffer."

My ears went deaf, my eyes went blurry and my heart beats faster than before. At first I wasn't sure whom they are talking about but after hearing their conversation they are definitely talking about Ilhoon and... I don't know, I wasn't sure if it was me? A closure? Either of his decision?? What is going on?

I lose my grip on my phone that it fell so loud that the sounds rings through the empty and quiet hallway that snap me back to reality. I immediately hide myself. I don't know why I am doing this? Why am I even hiding?

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