Classic

40

Ilhoon's POV

The night felt so long, a lot of people comes in and out but only one captures my attention tonight.

It has been what? 3 years? I drink as I remember the night I have to ended it. Regrets? Yes. A big fat Yes.

The moment she comes in I know how she manage to stop my world. Her smile, a single smile that brought sunshines to the darkest days I've been through without her. Then the realization hit me, why did I have to do that?

I want to close the distance.
I want to put my thoughts into words.
I want to hold you back.
I want you to come back.
But do I still have the rights?

Drown in my deepest thoughts when I felt a nudge coming from Minhyuk hyung who seems shocked on the revelation tonight.

I honestly don't care who he is in her life. It was all in the past. The same situation I probably in. I didn't bother to myself to listen about their stories and all but what I am bothered the most right now is her.

What is she thinking?
What is she feeling right now seeing me?
Or seeing him?

She looks so tense. Maybe bringing up her past makes her feel uncomfortable.
Yes. Her past which where I am also part of.

I don't know how long it has been but my eyes had been stuck with her. It is the way my mind is so messed up tonight but at the same time at peace. I cannot understand as well.

But there she is the reason why my mind is so messed up and the same reason why I am still sane after all this time.

She is and probably will always feel home.

The night is still long. A drinking game? She never drink as far as I know and— she drinks it all one shot?? I was face palming inside my head it is just the first question and hyung dropping it so casually.

But... wait a minute??? She drank it. What does it mean??? Is she? She is? WHAT?

Now. It seems like it was her unlucky night. "Are you willing to give a second chance?" She hesitantly drinks. Was it for me? For him? Or yeah should have read the room.

I tried to burry that thought and live the moment. I felt like a pair of eyes is watching me intensively but got no strength to look for it.

I feel like the time stops when the bottle points at me. I know what they are planning to do. I've expected it but as soon as I've heard the question my brain malfunctions. The only thing that has been running through it is, I want her to know. But she seems so uninterested, she didn't even bat an eye on me.

In my head I was calling out her name, asking her to face me just for this one. I was just looking at her and waiting for her to face my direction. Will you? Please? And the moment she turn her attention on me I don't know where I got the confidence to mouthed her the word 'no' and drinks without breaking the eye contact.

Her face? Her reaction? It changed but I cant seem to understand whats going on through her mind. I felt a tap on my shoulder giving me a slight nod.

I cant take this sight in front of me. I can't even stand seeing her being taken good care of someone else. It is supposed to be me but I let those chance slipped away.

I stood up and snatch away the glass she is about to drink and replace it with the bottled water in my hand. She seems not to notice and just decided to walk away from her.

I need to clear up my thoughts. I have been in series of emotional roller coaster tonight. My thoughts are messed up it is either should I give her some space or just let her go AGAIN for the second time. But her face, her reaction earlier haunts me and I realize ARE YOU—? IS SHE SENDING ME A SUBTLE HINT?