Classic

Classic 37

It has been three years since I left everything in Korea. I go back home. Maybe, it was the best decision of a 25 year old Ellie.

Three years since she left. She left without any warning. She left with no trace. Nobody knew where did she go even when did she leave?

It was a short notice to everyone that is why I never had the chance to properly say goodbye aside from Yujin and Arin. The only two people I still have communication with.

I was trying to catch my members if they are just pretending that they really dont know but same as I am they look so worried and lost. She didn't and never hinted anyone about this.

After a year that I left, Arin encouraged me to invest in her company than to completely lose me. Since then I've been living my life the way I wanted it to be. I've been travelling from places to places except Korea.

After a year she left my relationship with Irene noona ended. It was a mutual decision with no hard feelings. We have realized things and she made me realized an important thing. The night I got drunk she told me what exactly happened. Regrets? I don't know. I chose this hence I should accept the consequences.

I will be lying if I said I didn't miss them at all. Besides they are the one I am with for my whole rollercoaster journey.

Hyungs told me that their beach getaway is the last time they met her and after that all of their connection was cut off. They've thought she's just busy but as time passes by they knew something was off but everytime we bring her up Yujin never answer aside from 'she's doing well.' They even confronted me if I did something again to push her away. When in fact after the incident in the photoshoot I've never seen her again.

I don't know if I'm ready or when will I be ready. I left with no traces and suddenly comes back. Honestly part of me is afraid to see them. After those years I've been hiding at my comfort zone maybe sooner than I expected I will put end on my own games.

It is because Arin is asking me to attend this year's Annual Shareholders' Meeting in which Yujin is always the one who represents me before.

It took me a while to realized things and before I knew Changsub hyung and I is already okay. You know us, maknae line, cannot live without bullying him. My sister and I is doing well as well.

Maybe three years is already enough of hiding and escaping. I wouldn't lie that every now and then I still look for their updates, but mostly his updates. It is just that this time I am not sure of my feelings. Why am I still doing this things? Maybe I got used to it that it became a habit already? I don't know.

I've waited for two years and still waiting with nothing but a hope that I can win her back. It seems impossible in this situation but I will do my best.

I cannot confirm it myself. Am I still in love with him? Did I moved on already? Perhaps, I'm just in love with the thought of being in love with him? The later probably makes more sense.

"It's the same eyes I enjoy watching. The eyes that I've been longing to see. Her eyes that communicates all her emotions. Her eyes that I wouldn't be tired looking at. It still sparkle even in darkness. The girl that I've thought was Irene noona but all this time it was and will always be Areum. I got blinded by the fact that I was with somebody else that time."

I tried dating for the past three years but none of it lasts longer. Maybe I am disappointed that no matter how hard I try not to compare things I always ended up comparing. Definitely, something is wrong with me. I wanted this but I didn't see this coming.