Classic

Classic 35

Since it wasn't really my responsibility to be here Yujin and I are just monitoring the photoshoot.

About BTOB and Red Velvet collaboration it was both decided by their company. While Red Velvet and I became close when I was in charge of them for their own campaign shoot. Honestly, the girls are fun to be with maybe that is why we get along easily.

Didn't knew that these boys had problems with their stylist. Instead of just overseeing the shoot here we are doing a part time as stylist hopefully my fashion sense will help.

Another set of clothes needs to be prepared for the boys. I was down to the last person when I saw who it is. I need to get myself together.

"Can you tuck this in? Then I will just fold this."
"I will do it."

I've been holding my breath for so long that I felt like my heart wants to jump any second. It has been awhile since I faced him this close.

"It's done—"
"What concept is this?"

He is trying to smile as if he is trying to remember something. If he was thinking, what I am thinking. I probably answer, Boyfriend Jung Ilhoon concept.

"You're done!" I just smiled.

BTOB are starting to leave one by one until Changsub is the last one left.

"You did well." Changsub said while patting my head.

After tidying things up I felt really sleepy maybe a 5 minute nap will do. Yujin is still outside to monitor the shoot. Five minutes will do. Just five minutes.

I was just awaken by the feeling that someone is looking at me. When I woke up, I am shocked to see that the boys were back at the dressing room and a jacket on top of me.

"I'm sorry. I fell asleep."
"It's okay."
"You should have waken me up."
"No! You should get some sleep. We aren't still finish though."
"I'm sorry... and thank you for this." Referring to the jacket that I don't know to whom it belongs.
"Get some sleep."
"No. I'm not used with BTOB being so quiet."

Then I leave the boys in their dressing room.

"Yujin!"
"Oh!"
"I fell asleep."
"I know."
"Why didn't you..."
"Secret."

Probably the boys are teasing me earlier while I was asleep.

"Annyeonghaseyo!" A voice surprise us.
"Oh! Jiwon! What are you doing here?"
"Bringing you some breakfast? and lunch?"
"Why?"
"Just eat."

"Ya! You're still not having a breakfast and lunch?" Yujin asked.

"Wait why are you here?"
"Our CEO told me to come over. Then after you eat you can go home and take a sleep."
"No. I'm fine."

Jiwon is one of the head of the department assigned to this project.

He is right I haven't had any decent sleep the past few days. Last night is probably one of the longest and probably heaviest workload we ever have since I was assign to monitor their department.

We finished everything around 2am today that is why I am still sleepy. Then I received an emergency call by 5am about this schedule.

We are just enjoying ourselves having breakfast on the side where people will barely notice us but enough to know that we are still here just taking a break.

"Is that my picture?" As I look on his phone.
"Hmm."
"Tss. If I am not aware of what you guys are, probably will thought that you are dating."
"I... I like it." He received a punch from me.
"Why?" With his playful smile.
"Let me see the other pictures."

"Wa! Omo!" Yujin and I said in chorus.
"You...you are really a great photographer Jiwon." Yujin complimented.
"Right. Imagine he made me look pretty in this shot. So next time I will hire you as my photographer."
"Ohh! Arin is calling." I handed his phone back.

"Yes?"
"She's here."
"Areum where is your phone?"

My phone. Oh! Low battery.

"Why? Is Arin calling me? My battery got drained."
"Tell her. You know how Areum is hard headed."
"Arin wants to talk with you."

"Hello Sajangnim!"
"Areum you can go home now. Yujin and Jiwon is already there."
"No. It's okay. Besides I have started it already."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Areum?... Are you okay?" Even though he is Ilhoon's sister nothing has change between us.

It has been a while since someone asked me if I'm okay. It has been a while and I still don't know if I'm okay. I'm not expecting anything even a small hope of friendship. But I know I haven't move on and I still don't know what I need for me to move on.

Maybe. Maybe a part of me wants myself to admit that I still want him back but another part of me says let go for his happiness. I am still stuck on the day we said our goodbyes and I still don't know how to move forward.

"I will be."

There are still times that I will suddenly cry. Heavy feelings that I cant suppress. There are times that I wanted to take back everything I said. I want him back. But there are times that reality hits me and those time I will realized I just did what is best.

The tears that I have been hiding for so long wanted to fall. I keep myself looking up to prevent this tears from falling. I am still not okay. I was trying, no, pretending to be okay when the truth is I already don't know what is the feeling of being okay.

"Looks good." She put a specs on me.

"Let's get some fresh air. Jiwon take over here!"

While walking my tears started to fall. Tear drops became bucket of tears as we reach a nearby playground.

"Yujin..."
"Just talk when you are ready... I'm willing to wait."

I hide everything from her since the day we broke up. I hide all my pain to everyone. I hide my weakest state and pretended to be strong. I divert my attention and focus on working.

"You know what hurts me the most right now? Is that you trying to pretend everything's okay even in front of me while knowing you can never deceive me."m

I knew everything Areum, maybe a little too late. I had my own observations and eventually got my confirmation. I didn't talk to you about it because I know you are still going through that pain. I waited for the day you will try to speak up but instead you show us nothing but a hardworking Areum. Every night you are crying hard to sleep.

It hurts me to see you in pain while I can't do anything to ease it.

"I'm sorry."

"Sshh. You don't need to be sorry. I just want to ask you one thing. Could you please do it for yourself? Not for me. Not for him. Not for everyone around you. But for yourself. Please stop pretending like you are okay.

Cause you are not. Trying to be strong but your getting weaker.

From now on cry wherever, whenever you want. Complain when you aren't okay, complain when you are in pain. I better hear anything than guess everything."