My Amazing Boyfriend [Park Jimin FF]

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Hana, are you ready to go?" Jimin asked packing the rest of my things back into my bag.

A part of me didn't want to leave. I've been here for a while and I really was starting to consider it my home, "Do we have to leave tonight? Can't we just leave in the morning?" I asked with pleading eyes. I don't want to leave just yet...

"Hana..." he sighed, "you've already overstated your stay." he sighed.

I gasped, "And how do you know that?" I chuckled softly.

"Jin told me... he said you were becoming really bothersome. He was tired of seeing your face looking a mess in the morning..." he tried his hardest to hold in his laughter.

"Yeah right. He loves me and my company. He'd never!" I shouted back quietly.

He immediately bursted out into a fit of laughter. It's a refreshing sight to see after we've all been crying for the last few hours. I missed his adorable eye smile. It makes me even happier to know that the way he's reacting is genuine.

"Yeah, I'm sure he does. He really does take good care of you. From the way he spoke with me earlier he cares for you a lot." he smiled again plopping himself onto the bed. He braced his head on his arm and laid facing me.

"Hana... I promise you that I'm really gonna cherish you and never ever let you go. No matter what. Nothing is going to tear us apart again." he smiled softly laying his head back down to rest on the pillow.

"Really? You really promise?" I smiled crawling over to him. I sat up on the bed and initiated a pinky promise, as to which he returned.

"I promise." he chuckled softly.

I hummed in response. My eyes didn't leave his. I really missed him. Seeing his face right now makes me feel a whole lot better. I can't help but to sit here and appreciate his existence.If I wouldn't have met this man I would've been dead. Just a memory to my adopted parents. I barely had friends so I'm sure no one would've really cared.

"Jimin- thank you. Thank you for being you. Though you're faulted, you are seriously a blessing. More importantly, a blessing to me. To think I wouldn't have even been alive to see today if it wasn't for you is insane." I chuckled trying to push away the tears starting to form. It's always hard when thinking back to that night.

He only smiled at me and brought me into his arms, "If you cry I'll only want to cry." he rubbed his hand along my back.

I nodded my head and laid along his arm staring up towards the ceiling. I could feel his eyes latch onto me though, but I'd be embarrassed if we made eye contact at this moment so I tried to ignore his intense glare. His eyes were soaking me in. Observing every little detail.

"How can you be so beautiful?" his lips curved up.

"Who knows." I laughed. His sudden compliment was making me flustered.

"Look Hana, I'm sorry. Not for changing you, not for meeting you, but for not looking directly at you. Does that even make sense?" he chuckled softly, "What I'm trying to say is, instead of seeing you one hundred percent as you are, I say little glimpses of Chae and that was wrong. I told you in and out I never really thought of her much, but I was a liar. At the time, I also couldn't just ignore how you resembled her." he sighed and broke his eye contact with me.

"I've made enough mistakes and I truly am gonna make sure I'll make no more. These last few months has been so damn hard. When people say, "You don't realIze what you have until it's gone", it's true. I had already lost one of my loves, I wasn't gonna lose my last." he looked towards me, his words were genuine. 

His words made my heart beat irregular. He really suffered a lot. Again, I felt terrible because my life wasn't a mess. It was quite the opposite. My eyes were on Jungkook nearly the entire time. My mind was captured and taken over by him. Something I never thought could happen. I was swayed by someone who wasn't Jimin. Guilt was eating at me and without realizing I found myself sobbing quietly.

"Stop Hana." he turned towards me and wiped some of my tears, "Stop beating yourself up about it... Jin is right, sometimes you can't help who your heart beats for." he pulled me closer, "I'm not angry with you, I don't hate you. In fact, now I see how you felt, but the thing is, you were put in this position over a year. While I've only felt like this for a few hours, but I can tell you these few hours were hell. When you told me, my heart dropped to my stomach. I felt nauseous, weak, and so vulnerable." he brought me even closer, "So please, don't cry. Don't cry anymore." he sighed.

"I thought we said no more reading minds." I laughed between my sobs.

"I know you. You probably wouldn't have told me anytime soon. You looked like you were lost in thought." he smiled, "You just looked uneasy, so of course I was a bit worried..." he rested his chin on top of my head.

"Jimin- you have every right to be mad with me... I can't help that I'm mad at myself. I promised you I'd wait- patiently, and that I couldn't even do. I broke such a sole promise... how can you possibly be okay with that?" I looked towards him.

"Hana I'll tell you time and time again. I understand because I was put in that position. One where it felt like I became second best." listening to him say that didn't help at all, it only caused me to sob harder.

Within the moment he smashed his lips onto mine. After a while he let me breathe, "Stop crying will you? It hurts more to see you so upset..." he wiped the remainder of my tears away, "Take the time to breathe. No one is out to get you. No one hates you." he smiled resting my head to lay on his chest.

I thought to myself, what about Jungkook? What if he hates me? What if I ruined our connection the minute I ran into Jimin's arms?

I know he's breaking, but he doesn't want to show it. He's hurting, hut I don't think I'm the person to fix it. He has to... if I intervene it'll only give him hope. Hope that there's still a chance for us. I love Jungkook, but my heart will never stop beating for Jimin. Ever. 

I can only hope that over time he forgets about his feelings for me and I wish the same. I'll forever cherish him as he was the only person that successfully healed me. I could never forget him, I could never forget our time together.