My Amazing Boyfriend [Park Jimin FF]

Chapter Thirty-Seven

J U N G K O O K  P O V

My eyes were burning while my heart was aching. I feel broken... I just gave up the love of my life. I let her go without much of a fight and because of that... I feel like such a coward. I was in a constant battle with myself, Why didn't I fight harder? Why did I let her leave my side so easily?

"Kookie..." Jin's voice pulled me from the bombarding thoughts that invaded my mind.

"Hmm-" I hummed in response.

"I'm sorry man... I should have helped." he sighed waking aside me down the sidewalk.

"Help how hyung? You can't help in a situation like that... that wouldn't have been fair to her, she would've been so confused, so stressed. I don't want her suffering anymore than she already has." I ranted briefly before adjusting my hood back properly on my head.

"I should've served as your wingman. Instead, I was being a lost and helpless bystander to my brothers possible future disappearing before his eyes..." he seemed to be beating himself up about the situation.

"Jin... you're that mans best friend too right? How could I let you be biased? You know that even though he's hurt her, he's also treated her with the world... right?" I spoke softly.

"Of course..." he simply responded, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Plus, if he ruins this chance that he's been given- I really won't let him have the opportunity to get her back..." I cockily smiled.

"Then I really will be your wingman." he laughed, knocking my shoulder playfully.

"Yeah... I'd like that." I chuckled softly.

After that we walked in silence. Maybe Jin didn't know what else to say? Maybe I was too afraid to keep talking about her? Afraid to upset myself more. Sure- right now I'm laughing, but it's also just a mechanism to ease my pain, but she can't just simply be someone that goes unspoken about... "Hyung?" I called out.

"Yes Kookie?" he responded.

"How'd you get over her? I mean- you seem so okay with them being together, but even you had feelings for her right?" I shifted my attention to him.

He took some time to process my questions, "Well, yes. I fell in love with her. In fact, I met her in the hospital after her incident with Jinyoung, he's someone you don't know about. However, from the moment I saw her I knew our paths were destined to cross. She also had such an aura where you felt like you just always wanted to be around her." he chuckled thinking back upon his love-sick state.

"It got to the point where I made up excuses just to see her, to look at her smile, to embrace her beauty... she's genuinely such a beautiful person inside as well as outside. Who wouldn't fall for that?" he laughed.

I continued to listen as he spoke, "Hana Kim is the definition of the perfect woman. She can be shy, but when she needs to take a stand for something- she does it so confidently. Tonight made me realize that." he paused briefly, "But besides all that Jungkook, Jimin was still my best friend. How could I make a move on my best friends girlfriend? Though at first I didn't know that was the Hana..." he carried on, "All the years I've known Jimin he's never once asked about anything regarding his love life, but with Hana he personally came to me and has asked for advice... advice! Doesn't that seem unreal? Even with Chae he's never came to me for something like that." he got progressively louder trying to make me see the craziness behind the fact... but I don't personally know Jimin so how the hell would I know? I chuckled to myself.

"The Park Jimin came to me asking about dating advice! That man could easily pull any woman he wanted to with just a wink, but with Hana he felt he needed to do so much... that's how I knew he was in love again. That's how I knew I couldn't have her, not even if I tried." After his long revelation, he sighed heavily.

"What I had with Hana was almost like infatuation. I admired her for a while before I truly realized I couldn't compete with Jimin and his feelings. It was almost like I had some kind of school boy crush on her. I always sat and watched from the side. I never really went forward and made any move. In short, I was a coward." he scratched the back of his head, "But I'm not ashamed to say it. It's not always a bad thing to be a coward you know... because regardless, I get to see her smiling face. To just have her apart of my life is enough for me." he smiled.

He's right. To just be able to see her face seems like enough for me, but with this, I know it'll hurt me. Am I ready for the pain? Can I deal with it? I have to figure all of this out...